Mirror Me

Forty-Two

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Shinsou

I leaned my head against the headrest. Y/N sounded beautiful. I swallowed softly as I pushed the ice pack right under my lip. I didn't even feel the man hitting me back...

I didn't know how much longer I could pull this off... Aizawa is right, I am losing control of my emotions. And I know why...That was a hard yucky pill to swallow... Aizawa... being right.. Shouta himself...-

I loosened my tie letting it loosely sit around the collar of my neck.

It seemed no matter how hard I fought myself to be here on time I still couldn't make it. I could just see Y/N's face right now... I just know I've disappointed her and that was the hardest pill of all.

I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat, my ribs felt like glass... and my bruised side felt like a hammer ready to shatter them.

This was probably the most beat down I've ever felt... and that's including my tramma from my father. I'd rather have him kick me down two flights of stairs ten times each then to feel like this.

The training I received in Orca's agency was barely helping either. They always say take your mind off the pain... but knowing I hurt Y/N was also bringing me pain. Pain I didn't want to sit and suffer in.

"Good job Toshi." I said to myself, mockingly.

I let out a groan as I started the car.

I needed a damn cigarette.

                          ...

I sat on the curb as people around me started to clear out of the club. The people that only came for Y/N that is.... And there was a hell of a lot.

I placed the butt of the cigarette to my lips and took in a breath and right after all the people was the one person I was looking forward to seeing all afternoon.

                       ~Y/N~

I inhaled through my nose once my eyes met Toshi's. Everything around me was hot and red and my friends could tell.

Jack softly shook my shoulder as a 'see you later' his lips were in a tight uncomfortable line. Cliffy shook her head as she looked at Shinsou, "Asshole..."

Aiko seemed to dissolve into the disappearing crowd Cliffy did the same seconds later.... Leaving me and Toshi on the street alone.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched him stand up. The street lights felt just as cold as the darkened spots of the street. I felt alone. Alone and angry.

The club music that was once mumble lyrics felt louder than ever.

"Y/N... I'm so sorry."

I could do nothing but shake my head.

"I got into a small fight-" I shook my head once more which cut him off.

Dissatisfaction filled me. It was like a sour taste in my mouth. I stormed away from him. That's when his hand caught my arm. It was a firm grip. One I couldn't struggle away from.

The anger that was so well contained began to boil over.

"Please talk to me I-"

I whipped around and slapped him.

We both seemed to freeze in place. A scowl sat on my face. A blistering red print sat on his cheek.

".... Fuck you."

"... I- I was here the whole time, just outside of the club..." he said quietly.

Hot tears bubbled in my eyes, "I trusted you-..." my voice cracked softly, I sucked in a breath ignoring it. His eyes seemed to soften.

"I trusted you... to be inside of the club. Not sit outside of it on the curb and let me look stupid," I pulled my arm out of his hand and held up my hand blocking him from responding.

I felt him softly grab my hand, my tear-filled eyes followed his movements until a  kiss was placed right on my hand. I could feel my scrunched brows soften. He softly kissed my wrist and I pulled my hand away.

A soft mule erupted from my throat.

"......Y/N I never meant to hurt you."

I sniffed and quickly rubbed the palm of my hand under my leaking eye, "Yeah well.... I thought you got hurt."

I could see his jaw tighten, "Hmm." I quickly smoothed my dress out and began walking away.

He's hiding...

"Hey... Y/N!, Y/N where are you going?" He sounded concerned... I continued to walk down the street, I could hear his footsteps get closer.

"Leave me alone." I say as I pick up my steps.

"No." He said flatly. I stop in my tracks and slowly turn around to face him. His face was just as flat and stern as his 'No'. My lip couldn't help but quiver.

"Why are you like this?" I squeak out. "We've talked about this... Toshi- We've.... Talked about you keeping contact with me." my throat felt like it was closing but I continued. "I asked you if you're hurt and you shut down Immediately..."

He looked me in my eyes as he stepped closer to me and engulfed me in a hug.

"I'm not hurt. I would tell you if I was...."

His breath was soft and comforting. I couldn't help but let out the sob I was so desperately trying to hold in. I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Why didn't you pick up?" I sobbed. "I thought you were-"  He softly shushed me.

I nuzzled into his chest. My eyes felt itchy and swollen. He chuckled weekly, "I couldn't wait to see you..." He held me tighter, "I'd never forget about you... or your career... it feels like you're here even when you aren't and I don't want that to change,"

Here?

I pulled away from him, "Okay..." I say it once more to him, finally convincing him I will be okay.. "Let's go catch the train before it's too late."

I turned away from him and he grabbed my hand once again, "Aizawa lent me his car." He pointed to where it was parked, Across the street. My eyes stayed stuck on the Lexus LC...

"And Y/N... " I hummed softly and turned to face him the soft breeze catching my hair, "Next time I promise to tell you when I'm hurt."

I smiled at him, soft and genuine, "Next time."