Color Blind

Chapter Forty-Seven

AN: Jerry Cantrell, 'My Song'.

* * *

It was three AM when Cole went outside for a cigarette. It was cold and damp and he could smell rain, fish and grease in the breeze. It took a few flicks to get his lighter going.

Christ. He would never have guessed. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Hover? Make death threats? Pretend as though nothing had happened?

He leaned on the railing and exhaled into the fog. The smoke mingled and vanished in a second.

Maybe he should recommend seeing someone...no. She'd never go for that. Maybe just continuing like everything was normal was the best option. He'd appreciated not being molly-coddled, anyway. He would just follow her lead on this.

"Cole?"

"Did I wake you?"

"I don't sleep anyway." She leaned against the pole and shivered. "It's cold."

"Yeah."

They stood there in an awkward silence before she yawned.

"I'm gonna go back in." she said. "Don't stay out all night."

He forced a smile until she left. Okay. Normalcy it would be, then.

He stubbed his cigarette out and rubbed his face. He needed to shave tomorrow. Or was it today?

God, he wanted a fix. It had been a few months since he'd wanted one this badly. Just one, that was all he was asking. If it magically appeared in front of him, he'd take it without a second thought.

It was time to go in. He'd work on his drawing and have a few mints. That always made the cravings go away.

* * *

Nancy came out at seven AM to find Cole slumped over the dining room table, fingers resting on one of his drawings. He was going to regret doing that when he woke up.

He'd been off since she told him last night. He'd acted the same, but there was something off. Maybe telling him had been a bad idea.

"Cole." She reached out and brushed her hand against his shoulder. "Wake up."

He flinched and started coughing. Yeah, he was going to regret sleeping there.

"You okay?"

"Fine." He sat up and shuffled over to the coffee pot. "M'okay."

"I have to leave early for work." she said. "The morning girl called in sick and they need me to cover."

"Okay. See you later?"

"Yeah. Regular time. Go easy on your ribs."

"Sure, Nance."

At least he wasn't fussing. She didn't want to be treated like a broken person.

"See you. And I mean it about the ribs!"

She heard him laugh at her right before she shut the door. Fine. He could puncture a lung. She would not hesitate to say 'I told you so'.

* * *

Cole stretched-oww-and tacked the paper to the wall. It was time to do something big. It was time to transfer Heroin Jesus to the big print.

Now, where to begin? He'd never done something this large-scale before. Well, might as well start at the top and work his way down.

Reaching up hurt his ribs but he ignored them. He'd start with the needle and work from there.