Borderline | Jeongchan

thirty

The tears have dried by the time Jeongin wakes up. He stays with his nose touching Chan's collarbone, lets himself feel the way Chan is asleep but holding on to him securely, like he'd wake up if Jeongin so much as moved away a little. His hand has unclenched from the back of Chan's shirt but he keeps his arms around the songwriter, allows himself to take in the warmth and fervor he receives from being so close to Chan.

Jeongin is still afraid, but overnight his fears have shifted from the world finding out about Chan to Jeongin losing Chan.

If Chan had felt as much pain as Jeongin had when he was avoiding him, then Jeongin doesn't want to put Chan through that again. He doesn't want to see Chan crying because Jeongin had made him feel selfish for wanting to hold on to each other.

Chan is right. There will come a time when the public will find out about them, but that can only happen if there is a them for the public to find out about. And when that happens, then Jeongin wants to be by Chan's side, protecting him from the inevitable criticisms that will come their way simply because they fell in love.

But right now, all that matters is that he and Chan are sharing the same space and are sharing the same heart. Right now, they're untouchable, and Jeongin wants them to stay that way forever but that's impossible. He loves Chan, and some day, he'd want the world to know about it. Right now, he only wants Chan to know that he loves him. He wants Chan to know that Jeongin knows that what they have is real and he'll protect it with everything he has. He'll protect Chan with everything he has.

Jeongin inches even closer to Chan and nuzzles his face under Chan's head. He places small kisses from Chan's throat to under his chin until the arms around him tighten to tell him that Chan is waking up.

"Baby," he fists Chan's shirt to tug on it, earning himself a sleepy grunt from the older man. He chuckles under his breath, butterfly wings grazing the walls of his heart. "I love you."

Chan sighs through his nose, sleepy smile on his lips as he opens his eyes to see Jeongin staring at him with his slanted eyes wider than usual as he waits for Chan to respond. "I love you, too, morningstar, but people usually say good morning when they wake up."

Jeongin laughs at the teasing and tightens his arms around Chan. His smiles drops at his next words. "I'm sorry for avoiding you."

Chan shakes his head and kisses his forehead. "I understand you, precious star." he takes his arm off Jeongin to take his chin between two fingers and make the singer look at him. "But I mean it when I say that I love you and I'll take everything the world will throw at me if it means I get to be with you."

Jeongin nods. "Me, too."

He means it. Chan can see that he does.

"I love you," Jeongin repeats. "and I want to be with you. I want to be in your future."

"Then don't let go of me, alright?" Chan whispers.

Jeongin nods again. "I won't. But please be patient with me. I don't know when I can tell the world about you, so please be patient with me."

That's enough assurance for Chan. The assurance that Jeongin is planning that far ahead, that his greatest worry until now was that he feared how it will affect Chan when their relationship comes out. It means that Jeongin truly wants them to be together until the future; that he sees Chan in his future and that's why he's asking to be in Chan's future in return.

"I'll wait." Chan tells him. "As long as you stay with me, then I'll wait."

Jeongin wants to stay. He wants to hold on to Chan. So he will, because now he knows that Chan isn't planning on letting him go either.