Infatuated with a God

Chapter Sixty-Six

The entire time we made idle conversation about everything and nothing at the same time. Mostly we would talk about the food. He seemed fascinated about the beauty of how the dishes were designed as well as the flavour profiles. He even complimented the wine that was paired with it which was entirely surprising. I teased him about how Midgardians did food better than Asgardians did, and whilst he tried to argue against it I believed he was starting to agree somewhat before he cut the conversation off. I couldn't help but gently laugh and it caused him to smile. It wasn't until dessert was brought out and we were enjoying the caramelised pear when I decided to ask him what was on my mind.

"Okay, why?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me and tilted his head which caused me to roll my eyes at him. "Why bring me out to dinner? And how did you plan all of this? Also, when?" He finished sipping wine for a moment before sighing.

"I simply wanted to give you a night out, is that so hard to believe? They never seem to let you out of the tower, and when you did go out it was in pursuit of drinking your life away. You know I've been reading up on Midgardian life, and thought maybe you would enjoy seeing it with me. You've seen life as an Asgardian princess, this is akin to life as a Midgardian one." I was left completely speechless, casting my eyes to my dessert as I tried to think of a coherent answer. Before I could, Loki cleared his throat and excused himself to the bathroom and I was left sat there alone with my thoughts completely scrambled. Well for a second at least.

"Excuse me?" A small voice broke through my train of thought. I turned to the small boy and girl that had appeared beside my chair. I vaguely recognised them as the ones who had been sitting with a small family in the corner of the conservatory.

"Hello! Can I help you guys with anything?" A wide smile spread across my face as I noticed their hesitancy and excitement. Their eyes were wide, and both were unable to keep still. When I spoke, the boy seemed to shy away, losing the confidence he had when he had approached me. I looked over at the girl, who stared at me as if I was not real. Which is when I noticed the pens and pieces of paper in their hands, looking like they were ripped from a diary or journal. "Did you guys want me to sign those for you?" I softened my voice as I leant forward to get close to their heights. The girl managed to nod, and I laughed softly, extending my hands for their papers and pens. I wasn't out of the tower often enough to experience this before, and it felt almost surreal. However, I knew Wanda had begun getting it more and more as we were shown more in the public. I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise to me, but still it felt unreal. After asking their names, both of them seemed to break out of their shells a bit. I had just handed the paper back when I noticed Loki approaching the table, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Is it true you can make things move around?" The girl asked excitedly, and I extended my magic to the pen she had provided me before moving it over to her. Both exclaimed in amaze, causing me to laugh softly.

Unfortunately, I hadn't thought about their reactions to anything else. As Loki sat down both turned to him, possibly hoping for another Avenger. The girl shrieked and curled into my side, clinging around my leg, and the boy seemed frozen to the spot. Their mother rushed over at the sound just as the boy said,

"But he's evil!" My heart broke for Loki in that instant, not needing to look at him to know that would have hurt him deep down. I reached out for the boy's hand, guiding him to turn to face me as I tried to gently pull the girl from around my leg.

"He's not actually evil. The real bad guys hurt him and made him do all those things. He is helping us set it all right. He may look scary sometimes, but actually deep down he is a big softie, I promise." They seemed to relax a bit, but their mother still ushered them away, glaring at Loki as she did. With a sigh, I turned around, surprised not to see a mask on his face but his eyes glistening over in the light. He cleared his throat as we made eye contact, forcing the mask back on but unable to hide the moisture that had gathered in his eyes.

"You didn't have to defend me." I tilted my head slightly in confusion and intrigue. It was one of those moments where I wished to be able to push pass his barrier and into his thoughts.

"Loki even if it wasn't literally one of my jobs to help cultivate a positive image, I still wouldn't sit by and let people believe lies about you." The mask faltered again, his lips curving downwards in a frown.

"Who's to say it's a lie? Controlled or not, it doesn't change the fact that I did it. Nor does it change the truth. I am a monster, Kaya. It's best you don't forget that." He muttered, summoning a drink of what I assumed was Asgardian mead in his glass.

"Only you believe you are a monster, Loki." He rolled his eyes at me as he took a sip. Casting my eyes to my food and moving my fork around my pasta, I continued. "Look, I haven't pressed this before, but I am aware you aren't... entirely Asgardian. I don't pretend to understand what it means, but I know you aren't a monster because of it." I didn't look up at him, worried he would lash out if he felt too vulnerable about the topic. Honestly, I thought that would be the end of the conversation. Instead, he spoke up.

"The memory you saw when we first met... it was the day I found out. I had planned to interrupt Thor's ceremony to delay it. Try to have more time to prove my worth to Odin. Instead, I discovered I was... I am... Jötunn." I couldn't help but cast my head up at his words. I recognised the words from both Odin and mythology. Jotunheim, the land of the frost giants who were believed to be descendants of Ymir. Another memory played in my mind, a memory I forced him to relive during the mission. His skin turning Blue and him killing a similar being named Laufey... the man who was his father. I remembered now, the mythology surrounding Loki, the Trickster God. While Laufey was thought to be a woman and goddess, his father was thought to be Jötunn.

He looked at me with hesitancy and surprise, likely hearing my train of thought as I noticed the faint hum of his seiðr. Then suddenly he laughed.

"Your mythologies knew? Even Midgardians knew? I have to say this is a new low, even for me." I reached my hand across the table, placing it on top of his. Partly, because I was worried about such a public outburst, but mostly because I longed to provide him some form of comfort. "It was hidden my whole life. All the while I was taught of their savagery. Stories of their backward and evil ways were commonplace among Asgardian tales. In one moment, I found out not only was I different, but I was truly a monster." I stroked my thumb across the back of his hand in small circles to keep him grounded in the moment. Part of me noticed a small flash of light but I was too engrossed in his openness to properly notice. "He told me I was cast out as a runt, that I was abandoned. But in hindsight I don't think that was entirely true either. I understand the Odin you know is different, seemingly changed. However, for my entire life I was nothing but a pawn for peace. He told me I was born to be King, but knew I would never rule Asgard even as I was raised to do so." I frowned at his words, regretting what I had told him 3 weeks ago about Odin being his father.

"I'm so sorry Loki. You should never have gone through that. You were just a boy. And for what it is worth, I think you'd make a great King." He rolled his eyes and leant back, pulling his hand out as he did.

"Flattery won't get you anywhere." He muttered before sipping on his drink.

"And yet you sense no lies in my words. Sure, I think you have a ways to go on the whole viewing humans and lesser than you thing. And don't even think about making a comment on your godhood." I cut him off with a finger just as he began to open his mouth. He closed it again with a slight smirk on his face as I continued. "But you fit into the shadows, allowing you to view everything. Sure, they are traits of an assassin, but you gather data without being truly noticed. More than that, you know how to utilise it. You are a strategist deep down and you thrive off of information that would bore others. Thor is a warrior, but no politician. You may not be a soldier, but you belong in the court." I smiled as I noticed a blush rise to his cheeks. It wasn't often Loki was speechless, and my smile only widened as I realised he was. Eventually he uttered out a thank you before we moved to leave the hotel, walking together through the gardens and to the car. I sighed gently as we stopped before it, turning to him knowing that this car ride would be the last chance we would have to be alone all evening. He brought his hand to my cheek and tugged a loose strand of hair behind my ear, causing me to smile.

"Thank you for this evening, Kaya. I will cherish this evening with you always." With that said, he opened my door and I got in the car heading towards the hall as I turned my watch back on and was hit with a bombardment of notifications.