GAME OVER ━━ Lip Gallagher

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

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Game Over
chapter thirty one

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SHE STARED AT THAT LINE LONG AND HARD. It was probably weird to keep a pregnancy test. There wasn't really a sentimental reason. She was drawn to do it because her life was going to change or because she had news. No, she just... kept it. And as she sat on hers and Alan's shared bed with it in her hands, she couldn't pinpoint what exact emotion was running through her. Was she happy? Relieved? Disappointed? There were so many possibilities when it came to teen pregnancy. She could be forced to quit school just to raise a child, she could make a baby with the love of her life, or she could be one of those people who allowed two good people to finally add to their family. She could give a child the love they deserve regardless of what choice she made.

She fell back into the pillows, the used pregnancy test falling to the mattress beneath her. It was one stupid line. Her eyes remained on the popcorn ceiling, counting the cracks branching from the corners of the room. Her legs remained thrown over the side of the bed, hovering over the hardwood floor. She hated this empty feeling. She hated being unable to process her own emotions. It was like a rock in her stomach, just sitting there, doing nothing. "Hey, babe. I'm going to order a pizza. Is that okay with you?" The bedroom door pushed open to reveal the half dressed boy of her dreams. He had been in the shower for the past hour, trying his best to wash away the stink of the day. "You okay?" He leaned against the door frame with a warm, inviting smile. His eyes finally met Phoebe's. "Look," was all she said as she reached for the abandoned test.

His smile faded a bit as she held the white and pink stick in the air. There was no hesitation in his steps as he shuffled toward her, taking the test from her hand. "What does one line mean?" he asked. She sat up on her elbows, sighing softly. "Negative," she answered. He searched her face for any reaction. Why was she just sitting there looking at him? Was she mad? Was she hurt? Did she want a baby? They never really talked about it seriously. There was the occasional moments in bed after smoking a joint or drinking a little too much. He thought maybe she just had a kink. He never questioned it, he wasn't one to kink shame. Not when he liked being called baby boy. But as she looked at him, emotionless, he felt worried.

"Is that... a good thing?" he asked, his head unconsciously tilting to the side. Her brows suddenly furrowed at his question. "Is it?" He didn't expect her to answer that way. He didn't know how to go about this. He'd never even been in a serious relationship like this. "That's why I'm asking you." She sat up completely, pulling her legs under her body. Her hair was tangled, like she had been rolling around in bed for a while. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't know if its a good thing or.. or a bad thing. Would it even be a bad thing? I'm sixteen--" Alan sat down beside her slowly, easing onto the mattress, never once taking his eyes off of her. She ran a hand through her hair out of frustration. "And it's so fucking hot!"

Maybe she was slowly losing it. Maybe the good fortune she had been receiving ever since she met Alan was finally running out. She knew that she was unlucky, but she had hoped that it wouldn't affect her relationship. Her face scrunched up as profanities echoed in her mind. She felt nothing but the skin burning heat of summer. She couldn't even feel something for the child that could possibly grow inside of her. What a big change from how she thought before. "Breathe," Alan whispered, taking hold of her bicep in his soft grasp. His thumb ran along the inner side of her arm in gentle strokes. He pressed a soft, feather like kiss to her shoulder. Her eyes began to burn as water built up quicker and quicker. She scrunched up her nose, her lips forming a tight frown. She quickly closed her eyes to stop the tears from escaping. Her breaths were ragged.