GAME OVER ━━ Lip Gallagher

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

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Game Over
chapter eighteen

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HER HEAD WAS SWIMMING IN HER THOUGHTS. She was used to getting random calls or texts, asking if she'd come over from the eldest Gallagher boy, but never did she expect to hear Monica's name. Just that name was enough to have her leave Alan for the day with a peck on the cheek and run off. It was growing dark, but the path to Shiela's house was one she had taken plenty of times these days. She ran, despite the slickness of the iced sidewalk and the pain the sharp wind brought, as fast as she could. Sitting on the steps with a burning cigarette hanging from his mouth was Lip Gallagher. His expression was the same as any other day.

Phoebe stopped at the mouth of the fence, her wide eyes focused on her best friend. "Hey," she called out, breathless, wheezing against the cold air. Lip's head picked up on slightly as he came to meet her eyes. The tip blazed as his cheeks hollowed out, breathing in the dangerous chemicals of a cigarette. Her steps were hesitant. She hadn't ever been in this situation before. Of course there were moments where Lip was on the brink of a breakdown, but those were created by Frank and his carelessness. Never had she had to deal with the pain his absent mother forced upon him. He watched in amusement as she walked toward him, breathing heavily through her mouth. She was out of breath, he could tell.

"Did you run all the way out here?" he asked, somewhat pleased that someone cared enough to do that for him. It was foreign, he liked to think, that someone would would risk themselves (no matter how small) for him. But as he looked to her and thought deeper, he realized that Phoebe did that more than he thought. She would ditch school for him if he asked, sneak out of her house if he needed her. She'd drop anything she was doing, even if he just asked her to pick him up a candy bar. He was lucky to have her. "Yeah. I, uh, I was— I am worried. Are you.. Are you okay?" Her hands fit against her waist, clenching at her sides to stop the dull ache residing there.

          He looked down at the cigarette between his fingers. It was burning down, ashes scattering within the air and to the steps he sat on. He remained silent, not really sure how to answer. He wasn't sure what he feeling. Slowly, Phoebe came to sit beside him, her should knocking his on purpose. He smiled for a moment, breathing out a chuckle. "It's okay to feel things. You can get mad at her, or feel sad." Lip shook his head, finally breaking off the long piece of ash teetering to its doom. "Debs saw her first. She was here cooking with Shiela and ran all the way home. And I couldn't protect her this time." She glanced over toward the boy who had been broken so young.

          Her heart ached for him. She wanted to walk in there and give Monica a piece of her mind, as well, but knew that she didn't have the right. She wasn't the one who was left alone to fend for herself. She didn't have to raise her siblings and give her life to give them a better one than she had. She felt so angry. "You couldn't have known that this was going to happen," she whispered, her eyes flickering up to the darkening sky. She didn't hesitate to grab his free hand and lace their fingers together. His palm felt cold against her own. "Our life is so fucked up, why wouldn't I expect this to happen? Nothing ever goes fucking right for us," he explained angrily.

          "We can't pay the light bill on time. We steal half of the shit we own. I got caught taking fucking tests for people. We can barely feed everyone without your help." Phoebe flinched a bit, her head dropping. This is what Lip needed. He needed to get it out, yell up at the sky, curse their creator. He needed it to get out instead of it sitting inside of him, festering until he inevitably blew up and destroyed everything around him. "This shit wouldn't have happened if she stayed. We could have been a happy family." Her thumb ran along his scarred knuckles. Her lips pursed for a moment.