Always Only You: A Bradley Will Simpson Fanfic

Chapter 18.

Abby’s POV

“W-what do you mean?” I ask him, my voice wavering. I was now standing beside Brad’s hospital bed looking down on his confused face.

The doctor looked over at Brad again and replied, “I was afraid this might happen.” He started to usher all of us out of the room again, but I am determined to get some answers this time around.

I stand my ground and turn to face the doctor. “Afraid what might happen?” I ask trying to keep my voice even but to no avail it cracks, my mind threatening to break down again.

The doctor just looks at me with somber eyes and then turns to Brad’s confused parents, “Sometimes after brain trauma,” he pauses, “A patient can contract some sort of memory loss.” The older man scratches the back of his head and looks down. “I know this week has been a hard one for all of you, but we need you to step out of the room one last time so that we can perform some standardized tests on Bradley. Once we find out how bad the memory loss is we will have to bring him down to get and MRI to confirm our hypothesis. I’m so sorry, but we will get back to you.” And with that the doctor shut the door in our faces, again. We all dragged our feet to the waiting room, no one saying anything. No words of comfort were given, no words of hope or encouragement. We just sat and waited.

An hour and a half later one of the nurses came out and called Brad’s parents asking them to follow her down to the MRI room. I quickly stood and commenced following but I was stopped by the nurse, “I’m sorry but you are not allowed to join the family. This is strictly business between the doctors and Bradley’s parents.” She gives me a glare and I sit back down, shock overcoming me. I was helpless I couldn’t do anything, never mind see Brad and talk to him. Hell! He didn’t even know who I was. Maybe the doctors were wrong though, maybe he was just a bit foggy after waking up. Everything would be okay, I told myself. But after another two hours of waiting the bad news came.

***

My Dad had now joined me as the doctor explained everything, they told me Bradley had retrograde amnesia, it was a long term memory loss that affected his memories before and after the accident. In his case, every memory before he moved from the UK is still there, those weren’t affected. But all of his memories after he moved were gone, completely erased. He could remember things now as they happened to him, given facts and events that could happen in the future and those will stay intact, but he will most likely never be able to recover his memories after he moved. He probably won’t even feel a hint of familiarity when he sees me or anyone and anything he has seen before. “So I spoke to Bradley’s parents and they told me to tell you to stay away from Brad for the rest of the summer. No contact or anything like that. They want him to focus on becoming familiarized with his present surroundings and anything brought up from his more... Emotional past, could upset him.”

I just looked up at him, anger and frustration coursing through my veins, “How could I not stay away from him, doctor? He is my best friend we were so close, he has to remember something about me?” I firm tone now turned into a soft plead, “You don’t understand, didn’t he mention my name at all, did he mention me? He has to remember!” I cried, a tear trailing down my flushed cheeks.

The doctor just shook his head, “No, I’m sorry, but the only time he mentioned you, was when he was asking why you were there in the room. Even when we were telling him what happened we didn’t go into detail because we didn’t want to bring you or anyone else he doesn’t remember back, at least not yet.” He nodded grimly.

I narrowed my eyes, this doctor didn’t know Bradley, he didn’t know that he was smart and could handle such news, “He deserves to know sir. Bradley deserves to know. It was my fault he is like this and he deserves to know why he can’t remember anything, he’s a human being, not some ignorant child.” I started shaking as I started screaming at the doctor letting out all of my anger and frustration that was brewing inside of me for the past two weeks. My dad had a firm hold of my arms and was now dragging me out of the hospital and into the warm summer air. I didn’t know why I was still yelling, it just felt good after holding in all of my emotions. But my venting didn’t last long and I soon crumpled into my father’s arms, finally breaking down and sobbing. I was crying for myself and I was crying for Brad and everything we had lost. But nothing I did was going to help Brad.

***

After another week and a half of locking myself away from the world I decided to get out and head to the library. Actually I didn’t decide to go to the library, my dad practically forced me. But knowing the library was one of my favorite places I agreed to it and so there I was, coasting along on my Olive skateboard that Brad had taught me to use. I was dressed in my ripped shorts and white Jack Daniels tank top. I wore my beat up black Vans and had my hair hanging in knotty waves down my back. My bag was flung over my shoulder and I glided to the library. The wind was cool against my skin despite the hot August day. It was nearly a week until high school started and I wasn’t willing to go back. Mind you, it would be good to get my mind off of Brad. I glided to a stop and picked up my board heading inside the air conditioned building. I went straight to the non-fiction section and started to browse the biographies.

“I would suggest Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland, it’s tragic but an awesome read.” I voice called out from beside me. I looked over from where I hear it and saw a girl about my age browsing through the biographies as well. She had long blonde hair that was tied back into a fish tail braid, she wore a pair of semi-rimless glasses that were totally sixties style. She looked pretty quirky, but it was cool.

“Um, I’m not really in the mood for a tragedy.” I replied while browsing for another biography.

She pulled a book out of its nestled spot on the shelf and handed it to me, “Then I suggest The Life of Dr. Seuss.” I smiled and took it out of her hand, reading the back of the cover.

“I’ll take it then. My name’s Abby,” I smiled and stuck out my hand.

“Imogen,” She replied shaking it. “So what brings you to the library today?” She asks as I walk to the front desk to sign out my new book.

“I’m trying to, get away from things.” I replied I hint of melancholy escaping into my voice.

We turned to walk towards the big plush couches to sit down, “Like what kind of things? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“No it’s fine. I guess it would be nice to talk to someone again. I know we only met but...” And I continued to relay this summer’s events. Not leaving one single detail out. At the end of my venting she sits silent for a few moments and then turns to me.

“Abby, I think... I think you need to screw what the doctors say. And what Bradley’s parents want. Only you know the extent of Bradley and your relationship and you should be the one to judge what Bradley can and cannot know about you. I think you need to talk to him, or at least try, and if he won’t listen then that is his own problem. But I think you would feel a lot better if you did talk to him.” She looks to me and smiles.

I look down into my hands processing her words over and over. “You know what,” I say, “You’re right. I’ll go talk to him tomorrow. And if he doesn’t recall anything then so be it. But I can’t just leave everything how it is.” I look up again with a new look of determination plastered on my face.

“Well, I wish you the best.” Imogen smiles at me.

“Thanks Imogen!” I get up and start to leave, “See you in school?” I smiled.

“Grade ten at the comp!” She waves back as I heat out into the blistering heat once more.

***

Later that night I hatch a plan in my mind, hoping to get the chance to talk to Bradley hoping to get him remembering me. I lie in bed awake that night, my thoughts and fantasies tearing sleep away from me. But I’m fine with it, all I know is I’m going to talk to Bradley tomorrow and he’s going to remember. He has to remember. And with that I fell into a restless sleep filled with nightmares of Bradley and me running. But he was running away from something, that something was me.