Mileven One shots <33

Ugly insecurities

Fluff and angst
Possible trigger warning maybe
Enjoyyy :)
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When El began school she mostly focused on herself.She was too caught up in her own life and trying to adjust to the school routine (she found it really stupid that she had to get up so early by the way).In the end,she had no time for others,except for Mike and the party,especially Mike though.

As she got used to it more, things became more smooth.There wasn't such a strain on her trying to catch up now and when she did finally look around the school from time to time she noticed the girls.

Usually,El wore a sweater and some dungarees if it was cold.When it because warm she started wearing shorts and tops that Mike had given her.Before she didn't care about how the shirts looked.Actually,she loved them.She loved that they used to be Mikes and didn't mind that they were crinkled or too 'boyish'.
When she looked at other girls though...She felt ill fitting.

She didn't feel like she was part of this school with her oversized shirts and small blue shorts.The other girls were pretty.With blonde hair that reached mid way to their backs and eyes as blue as the ocean.El wished she could wear make up just like them.She just loved how purples,greens and blues decorated their faces.

During lunch she watched as people swarmed around them like bees swarming a flower.She wondered why people did that.One time Mike had told her that it was because they were little show offs that wanted to be popular, and El had agreed.Deep down though she wanted to be that girl that boasted about her new eyeshadow and colourful hair bands to everyone.

The more El looked into this whole thing she realised more things about them.

The girls were pretty lean,not too much but more than El was,that was for sure.All of them had such pretty smiles that El found herself staring in front of her mirror and practicing until her mouth hurt badly.

She sighed and sat down in the bathroom.
Her reflection was ugly all of a sudden and she no longer liked how she looked.Like in movies,she imagined the mirror cracking because of how hideous she was.It would all just fall apart into tiny little pieces against her,cutting her until she was nothing but flesh and bone.El sunk against the bathroom wall and looked at the perfectly intact mirror.She wondered what Mike would think if he saw her.

In Mikes opinion,El was a very beautiful girl.I mean of course he thought she was beautiful.
She had the prettiest of pink lips,her smile making him want to melt underneath the warmth of it.Her eyes were like pools of honey,not like his that were a dark brown colour,but a light gold that shimmered in the sunlight like pennies.
Even though her hair only reached halfway down her neck,it was pretty.It was a delicate brown and went down in gentle waves like a calm sea.
Mike thought El had a perfect body and didn't need to do anything to improve it.

He couldn't see why she would think of herself as any less than these girls in this awful school but he hoped he could change that before she got any bad ideas into her head.

Next time he saw her he would be the nicest he possibly could,even if that meant everyone hearing him calling her a stupid name that would embarrass her to the point that her cheeks turned a deep maroon.He knew that El still loved when Mike called her these cheesey names,it was just their way of showing affection.

-

It was Monday again and the weekend had gone by faster than ever before.It was well spent time with Mike where he had taken her out for food on Saturday and then spent the whole of Sunday cuddling in bed with her and watching movies.

Now,El spent about half an hour looking herself in the mirror though and hating the way she looked before school.She tugged at her hair.
Dreading going back to the hell hole,she walked slowly down the road due to how weak she felt.

The past week she hadn't gotten much sleep and ate less.She wasn't sure if Mike had noticed really but she hoped he hadn't because her boyfriend cared about her too much.

The second he noticed something was wrong it would be,'El are you ok?' or 'El what happened?'.Most of the times she loved how much she cared for her but she seemed off,even she knew that.Admittedly,she knew she had to tell someone about this before she completely lost herself in it.

Unexpectedly,as she was waking to school,El saw a figure down the road.He ran towards her and El rolled her eyes not in a joking way but totally serious,annoyed that her boyfriend was joining her.

"Hi,"Mike smiled and kissed her.

Mike looked at her.She was awfully quiet for someone who was this inquisitive.
All the colour had drained from her face,leaving her paper white,almost as if someone had covered her with snow.She stared straight forward and Mike noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes which stood out against her wan skin.

"Mike,I have to tell you something,"she whispered.

Already prepared for what El was going to say,Mike went over his imaginary speech.
'El,you are beautiful and should always feel that way.Never think you're not enough and most importantly never compare yourself to those girls yous see at school'.
It was a dumb and weird idea but it calmed him down that he knew what he would say to his poor girlfriend.

"Mike,I feel...ugly,"she sighed.

One of Mikes hands went around her shoulder.
"El,before I ask you this I just want to say that you're the most beautiful and gorgeous girl I had ever seen.Words cant describe how perfect you are.Now,why do you feel ugly,if you don't mind saying?"
Obviously Mike knew the answer but he wanted El to confirm that it was true.

"Well these other girls at school...They are so pretty.They look like those American girl dolls I see on TV before Christmas,"she sighed and kicked away a rock.

"You're right they do look like American girl dolls and to some people,not including me,they are pretty.But in my opinion you're beautiful.I wouldn't trade you for any of those girls even if that meant getting loads of money,which trust me,I would be grateful to have."

El blushed but she could still feel tears welling in her eyes."But what if others don't think I'm that pretty?"

"If they don't think that you're pretty then that is their loss because,you El,are extremely pretty.You shouldn't care what people think or compare yourself because everyone is different and I mean,that's okay."

El smiled a little and laughed,"so does that mean I can still wear your AC/DC shirts?"

"Of course,"he joined in laughing with her."Oh and by the way,if you ever feel ugly again,tell me."

She was grateful for her boyfriend and finally liked the feeling of being cared for.
"I will tell you,Mike,I don't want to have insecurities,they are ugly and dumb."

"Yeah,ugly insecurities,"he made up the saying in his head.

-

I did this in less than a day
Wow
Also if ur ever struggling dont suffer in silence,please tell someone :)

-Ally