Grief pt. 1

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A/N:  Here's an idea from Kalin899. They suggested I'd do how the (fill in) character copes with the death of their boyfriend out of the Gladers. She had the whole Newt one planned out with what happens 'n' everything. The idea is beautiful and I hope I'll be able to write that out well enough. 

❤️Newt: 

(Your POV):

        I found it sickening how everyone kept going like it was nothing. Of course, it was silly of me to think everyone would be as depressed as I, but I couldn't function the same. My world had never seemed darker than those few days after Newt was killed by Thomas. The Gladers kept telling me it was Newt's wish; he was past the gone. How could I let that settle when I was grieving so badly? We had made it out of the Glade together. We had planned out our lives for when we'd escape this mess together. "Together" was a fantasy. Until I thought of a way to be with him. A way to end my own suffering. 

        The following day I planed it all out. I would jump from the highest point I could find as the boys and I travelled across the scorch. I had hours to think over it and not once was I doubting the idea. Looking back, I was so hurt and I let it control me. God gave me a good reason to stay, though. I had broken away from the group, heading over to a tall building, when Thomas placed his hand on my shoulder. I whipped around and gave him a nasty glare, followed by a good shove to the ground. "Get away from me!" I cried. 

"Y/N, you can't do this, Newt would want you to live," Thomas pleaded.

"I was planning on telling him yesterday!"

"Telling him what?"

"Before you... k-killed him, I was going to tell him: I'm pregnant."

Everyone was staring at me was their jaws dropped to the floor. I turned away and kept going. "I can't take this and I don't want her to suffer," I explained quietly.

"Your going to kill two of Newt's only loves? You're going to live with that sort of guilt?" Frypan was choking up. That was when I took a step back, realizing what I had actually been doing. I had it all wrong. To this day, my daughter, Arabella, is healthy and is beautiful with her father's best features. 


A/N: (Again) OKAY WHO HAS SEEN INSURGENT? It's cool if you have, ok if you haven't. I did and just SKDFBFBKVVDCCXMVKFDJV. That's it. 

Song of the Day: Sacrifice by Zella Day (I'm freaking obsessed with Zella Day and the Insurgent soundtrack. someone help)

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