Davina Rossi. One word to describe her is different. She's a closed off person except when she's around people she trusts. She's rude and feisty to those she doesn't like. She can be nice when she needs to be. She's had the longest crush on her olde...
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Why?... that question was all that was running through my brain at this moment, how and why could i be so fucking careless? how could i let the man who would much rather deny me then show me off to the world, have me again?
god i feel so stupid and ashamed of my self for letting go. D told me that if he denies me once and would rather choose himself over me he would it over and over again, ill be the one left broken and dumbfounded over my stupidity.
I love him. yep i said it i fucking love him, and that is why i hate this. I guess it's true when they say 'you never choose who you love, it chooses you' whoever said that deserves a fall down some long ass stairs because him or her were so fucking right and i don't like it. I'd rather choose who i love so at the end i wouldn't have to hurt but yet again another fucking genie said 'love hurts' yea no shit.
I should go, like actually really go.
Move then bitch, your here being a sorrowed bitch who can't get a dam hold of her own feelings. your making me look fucking sad and pathtic, mind you WORTHLESS. Get your ass up and leave his sorry ass, he doesn't wanna fight for you or be with you. HE. DOESNT. DESERVE. YOUR. TEARS.
Of course I'm the only one who in return is always wrong, ugh i need D. Now.
I feel warm arms wrap around my naked curled up body "what you thinking about?" he asks as i sigh.
Just get up and leave.
"nothing. i uh gotta go" i say as i quickly get up and grabbed my clothes that were shamelessly thrown around his marble floor. even the clothes makes me feel stupid.
i quickly slip them on and make my way to the door with my purse in hand.
"hey, hey wait" he stepped infront of me which is basically infront of the door now that i was about to walk out. Please just let me go.
"what?" i asked as i barely look at his eyes. he was now wearing jogger shorts. "what's wrong? why are you in such a rush?" he asks as i take a shaky deep breath in and then out.
I say the words that i had never imagined my self saying and that quite frankly i thought he would say, i guess i am underestimating myself afterall "this was a mistake that should have never happened" I admit looking straight into his blue eyes, the eyes i shamelessly adore, even if we aren't together or even a talking stage.
"this is the last time Luciano, I'm done" i say as i try my best to keep the burning tears from falling down my face. "Luciano i can't keep hurting myself, i can't keep being involved with you if it's not how i want. Your using me and i don't want to be used. I'm far more valuable and i can do so much better even if it hur-" before i could finish he cut me off
"shut up!" he started, i could see his eyes glisten with unshed tears. "i get it. I don't deserve you and let's leave it at that. But just know i never meant to use you. All i did was try to show you love, i didn't grow up with much of it. and trust me i tried to give you my everything and i guess it wasn't enough for you. I don't want to lose my family, it may sound selfish but i can't be seen as the guy who took advantage of you. My aunt would never forgive, pops...he wouldn't forgive me either." he said as his voice slowly cracked. "loo-" before he could let me finish he opened the door and looked down.
