Come What May

Chapter 4

That night, Hermione drew a bath in the private bathroom attached to her apprentice chambers. She needed to reflect on everything that had happened. What a horrendous first day back at Hogwarts. Was she wrong in challenging the professor like that? After all, he technically was her superior now. Hermione suddenly felt a massive pang of guilt rush to her chest. Was she going to lose her apprenticeship for disrespecting him?

However, he did call her a slut! He deserved to have the hatred and insolence thrown at him, she thought. No. No. She was wrong. Horrible and mean, she thought. Hermione slipped down deeper into the steaming water, sinking and sinking...

Ronald would have never treated her like that. Perhaps he would have been angry about being deceived, but he would not have said those things. But Ron was dead, one of the many victims of the battle. Hermione grabbed at her chest, shooting pains running through her, and erupted from the water. The room seemed to be growing smaller with each struggling breath.

Scenes from the war filled her head. There had been so much blood. Nothing to stop it. No way to help him. Severus. Left to die in the Shrieking Shack... Then, Ronald. Bellatrix had used the Unforgivable Curse to kill him just before Molly struck her down. If she hadn't been focused on saving Snape, Ron wouldn't have been dead...

Ron could be there, behind her in the bathtub, talking her through the next few days. Kissing her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her. His hands on her bare breasts...

Hermione clawed at the edge of the tub, struggling to get out. She felt as if she might suffocate if she couldn't get out. Pulling a pair of silk pajama pants and matching camisole, Hermione then wrapped a black velvet cape over top. Slipping the hood over her hair, she made her way through the dark castle, careful with every corner.

She was out after curfew, but could think of nothing else but to get to the Astronomy Tower. There, she could get a few minutes in the cool night air. Maybe she would feel like she could breathe. A sickening feeling had settled in her stomach, her palms damp. Unfortunately, even the apprentices had a set curfew for their safety. Finally, she entered the open space, hurrying down the stairs.

Standing at the edge, Hermione looked over the courtyard below. Would it hurt if she flung herself off? How long would it take for her to hit the ground, she wondered.

"Reveal yourself so I can deduct house points."

Bloody hell. Seriously?

"Are you following me, or are we just this unlucky?" Hermione questioned, shifting as she looked over her shoulder towards Snape. He shifted himself slightly, tilting his head when he caught sight of her.

"It's late. You should be in your chambers."

"I wish I was there... In my bed, asleep. But not tonight... I can't." She shook her head, turning it back towards the big, shining moon. "If you're going to yell at me, could it wait until tomorrow morning? I'm not particularly strong enough to listen to it now."

"You act as if I've no compassion."

"Well, you don't, right? Or is that just an act you put on?" The words tasted bitter as she spit them out, and Hermione immediately looked to her right. "I'm sorry... Sometimes those words spill out before I realize how terrible they are."

He held a strange look on his face as his eyes gazed into hers. She studied his face once more--he had hardly aged at all. Hermione felt nearly 10 years older when she returned to the castle.

"What made you come back?" She questioned, white knuckles grasping ahold of the railing.

"Hogwarts is my home... The familiarity is comforting..." Snape replied, leaning forward against the iron barrier, facing out over the courtyard. A cool breeze blew in, knocking Hermione's cape off her head, her curls fluttering in the wind. His eyes followed them and then landed on her face once more.

"The Prophet said you were enjoying a life of quiet solitude? Why not continue? No one to bother you... I could never get away from the press. I knew that if I was back at Hogwarts, they couldn't touch me."

"Do you believe everything you read in the Prophet?"

"Of course not. But I assumed you were enjoying time away from the castle. Obviously, you enjoyed spending it on a motorcycle."

"Mmm. Yes, I did enjoy my freedom, for awhile." His eyes wandered down her neck, to her breasts, which were apparent in the silk camisole. Hermione flushed and inconspicuously pulled the cape over her chest.

"Well. I think I'll be off to bed." As the witch began to turn away, she felt his hand upon hers.

"Tomorrow, we can brew some Dreamless Sleep for you." Severus immediately retracted his hand, shoving it back down at his side.

"Thanks. Oh, and, um, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier... You didn't deserve that. I... I have some things to work on." Hermione smiled tightly, walking back up the stairs towards the main castle.