It felt like a miracle when a highly esteemed company had reached out to him to help him train, claiming his skills as immaculate and sought after by the best. Of course, there was the initial doubt and fear of rejection, failure and humiliation but the pride of having something he could call a talent 一his own talent一 took over and he accepted. The next few years were a flash of concerts, topping the charts, a level of fame people would kill for, he had it. It was amazing, the adrenaline pumping in his veins every time he stepped into the bright lights amidst the crowded space, barely able to hear his own voice over the screaming of the people that had gathered all for him. And just like that, decades passed, and he was relevant no more.
He didn't know how to feel, he didn't know what to feel, for it felt like his entire purpose in the world was to be perfect but now he had ruined his only chance and he was never going to be the same again! He was a failure meant to be destroyed who shouldn't have even tried to gain anything because he couldn't show people that he could fail, that he could make mistakes, oh no! That would be so utterly humiliating! He would be degraded for years on end until he is nothing but one with the earth.
But there are people who are doing so much worse than he could even imagine. How hypocritical and narcissistic was he to assume that he was struggling when people are suffering?! For god's sake he was an upper-class member in the 70s singing and dancing , whilst there are people literally starving and fighting for their lives and a country they might not even be able to return to. He tried to turn to the people he had trusted, but all they say is how easy he's had it, how he barely had to lift a finger while so many people are losing their minds over trying to get somewhere near his position.
Maybe they're right, maybe he was being dramatic, because why would he be upset? He's had everything, he has nothing to worry about? But he just couldn't let anyone see how wrecked he was on the inside, so he devised a plan, yes, a plan that worked perfectly. Nobody would know he was ever hurt in the first place, so he made up an entire fake persona, the persona being the person he used to be, hiding his true self under layers upon layers of false confidence ignoring all hurtful comments under fake smiles, pearly teeth and corny one-liners.
And it worked, he lost himself to the persona, trying his hardest to ignore any chance of hurt, any paranoia and insecurity in hopes to satisfy the 'audience' he made up in his mind, dropping anything he was interested in if he wasn't immediately perfect because he couldn't be a failure. He had won, he had managed to trick his own subconscious into accepting his façade as his actual personality.
But can winning really be considered an achievement if all it does is bring you misery?
What is a man, if he is afraid of the very thing that makes him human?
