𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓: 𝕸𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘

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𝕾𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖘𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖐 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖊𝖞𝖊𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖑 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖐𝖘

Everything seemed loud, and not in the usual way that was oddly comforting, but in the way one would feel after a long hard cry, staring off into space as the very walls of their safespace felt suffocating, inching closer and closer until it could finally crush them. He always convinced himself that he was used to it, that at this point he was ready for the walls to crush him like dirt but it never happens, and it only hurts him further. He was always there, watching over him like some sick caretaker, like a dog on a leash, he could never go further than he allowed him no matter how hard he tugged on the leash, choking himself. Ugly fat tears rolled down his cheeks, staining the green into a darker shade. The walls stared, silent in an almost condescending way, they sneered at the sign of vulnerability he showed, this was not who they wanted him to be, for a few moments he felt glad he lived alone in this maze of a place he called home. He can barely see his reflection in the mirror, a blurry mint green and familiar mismatched eyes, the left being a soft hazel and the right being a sky blue.

Those were the eyes he had gotten from his parents, his own eyes being the sole reminder. He remembered his mother's teary hazel eyes, gently caressing his cheek as they said their farewells back at the train station. He was newly recruited back then, no older than 18, just at the start of adulthood, signing his life for the country he loved. His father was less emotional than his mother and son, simply nodding in respect as he boarded the train. It was a Sunday, he remembered, the Church bells rang loudly, alerting the whole town of the departure of the many young men.

It was in the train when he first met his friends, Sneaky and Mouse-Ka-Boom, bonding over shared goals and aspirations. He learned they all had similar backstories, being raised in a farmhouse, spending days outside covered in mud and catching butterflies with their siblings in the lush green fields. Many other men of all ages were there as well, but many new recruits could be seen, giving into the temptation of paid tuition and a handsome salary.

He's still desperately trying to grab handfuls of more good memories to stop the tears. The walls still stare blankly, yet every inch of his body knows they're judging him. He's trying to conjure up something, anything pleasant to think about but it's like trying to fish for them under murky water, going with whatever his mind pulled out from the muddy depths. It's strange, he could barely remember anything before he came here, hell he couldn't even remember when and how he came to this wretched town. His life before the military was simply a blur of concepts, bits and pieces of memory sewn together in a messy patchwork in his mind.

This one was more vivid, training. Everyone has some memories during training or work, making small talk with the other soldiers trying to make friends and survive this hellhole. He, Sneaky and Mouse-Ka-Boom were always together, they were assigned to the same dorms, same teams to train with and everything else. Through days of rigorous training their friendship grew, they went through thick and thin together, comforting each other when they got homesick. The others in the compound had never seen the trio apart from each other unless they were assigned to patrol at different periods, they were that close. So it made complete sense why the general would've wanted the three to assassinate the Tiger general.

From there the memories changed, from murky swamps to rushing currents with jutting edges at every step. The unforgiving screams of the dying, they let out cries of help and pleas of mercy until their voices broke and their lips bled only to be unheard of as they were thrown into the piles of corpses, suffocating under their dead loved ones. He remembered it was particularly bad during winters, when families would huddles as close as possible to each other, trying not to freeze to death. Some died holding their children, keeping them warm even after they left the world. They would stare in longing as Flippy and the other soldiers were suited in warm leather boots and woolen jackets, patrolling the areas in long furred capes, something they could only dream of having. He tried to help them he really did, giving them parts of his rations during break or whatever spare cash he had on him, but it really didn't change much. 

All he could remember after that was war. Dreadful, cold, unforgiving war. His closest friends, the only people he could trust and rely on ever since the start of this whole thing torn apart from him and by his own hands. That was when he came into existence, a moment of utter fear, horror and stress creating an entire new personality in those few seconds where all he could see was red pulsing flesh of his once close comrade. He tried to convince himself in every way possible that it wasn't his fault, that it was an accident yet no one would believe him, not even the maggots that crawled around his ally's rotten, ripped flesh, for they knew he was lying to himself, they knew it was his fault, so did he but it wasn't. He didn't mean to, it was an accident. Why would it be an accident? He was trained for years, for this moment. Is he really going to blame someone else? How selfish, just admit it and get over it. What's the point of it? Just give up, he's not convincing anyone, they know, everyone knows. The silence mocks him again, how could he possibly say it wasn't his fault? How dare he? How dare he? He could've used the knife on him too, they were supposed to die together! How dare he?

Fliqpy was everything he should have been, Fliqpy is far better than anything he is. Flippy is a mere bug. Fliqpy is what they want, Fliqpy is everything he isn't. They want a strong, cold and ruthless soldier not not some fucking coward which is exactly what he was, for fucks sake this is exactly why nobody wanted him, you know what? Maybe he did them a favour, they probably hated being with him anyway, maybe he was like another pest that bothered them but they were too nice to confront him. 

.

.

.

No, no.

They weren't like that. 

Fliqpy you damn bitch. 

--

𝙔'𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙? 𝙡𝙢𝙠 🧍‍♀️

𝙞 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 (𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨😕😟) 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙡😫😳 

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚, 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚/𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 

𝙎𝙤 𝙞 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙘 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙨𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧🙈😻🥵😩🤪😵

 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚❗💥💗💥 𝙭𝙭

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