Chapter 19

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Take a risk.
I used to believe in us too. I used to believe we can make it work too. I used to believe we will build our happy ending. But it disappeared in a night. Because I thought he stops believing. And he just told me in his letters that he never stop believing in us.
And because it's Ken.
Because I still love Ken.
Because Ken still loves me.
I'm taking the risk. Two people love each other and there is no more stupid dramas and the obstacles, why won't it end well? There is no logic. It's as simple as that.
So I'm taking the risk.

I called Ken. He didn't answer it, so I am focusing on my exam instead. After 5 mins of reading the same sentence again and again, I get up from my bed and open my laptop. Ken distracts me so much. I can't wait to browse about universities in Atlanta. And then I realized that I don't know what I want to study. I am finishing high school in a week and I don't know what to do after that.
I'm scared.
I have no goals. What to do?
Mom. Mom will help me figure it out. I run downstairs.
Mom is watching TV, dad must be at work because he's nowhere to be seen. Mom turns to me as my feet landed on our living room floor.
"Um....I...What are you watching?" I said, how do I approach the subject?
"What is it?" Mom said with the sweet motherly voice.
Okay. Relax. It's not gonna be awkward then it already is.
"I want to go to college in Atlanta. And I'm graduating from high school in a week, andidontknowwhatiwanttostudynext." Can this get any more awkward? You can talk anything with your mom, Kris. Relax.
Mom smiles, as peaceful as ever.
"Come sit here" She gestures to the space next to her.
"Um...." This is freaking awkward.
"You bought many books. Why?" Mom asks. My mom never question my spent. Why do I read? That's asking 'Why do you breathe?'. The answer is the same, to live.

"Because I like reading. You know you get to go to many places and experience many new things..." I answer, not to sound sarcastic with my mom.
"Do you enjoy it?" Mom asks.
"Of course." And I blurt the sarcastic tone. Mom smiles still.
"Have you considered writing?" Mom asks.
"No, I don't think I-"
"Write a small story and post it on Internet or something. You can try, Kris. Just a suggestion"
Writing a story? Publish on Internet?
"Um...."I scratch my head.
"You read many books. You must have some ideas or inspiration. How about writing for others to read?"
"I'm sure you will do great." Mom looks at me this time.
Just when mom said about the writing on Internet, I already think about what kind of stories and what the story will be about. Maybe I can try? Take a risk.
"Um....It doesnt hurt to try, right?" I hug her awkwardly.
"What about Atlanta?" I pull back from the hug. I'm so scared of her answer. What if she says no?
"Whatever you do or decide, I'll support you." I release the breath I don't know I've been holding when I hear her answer.
"I love you." I hug her again. Mom whispers into my ears. "Take a risk, honey." A risk. Again. I smile.
"I love you too."

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