Out Of Control - How It Ended

38

TW's:
-None

George's POV

Sapnap, Clay's dad and I stayed in the hospital all night and day. I had fallen asleep on Sapnap's shoulder after I had been crying for two hours on end. When it was eleven in the morning, I looked at Sapnap who was constantly walking around nervously.

'Is it too late for him to wake up?' I asked quietly.

'As long as no one told us he has passed away, nothing is too late,' Sapnap said with a shaky voice. He sighed deeply and sat back down on the chair next to me. 'I hope they'll come quickly.'

I nodded slowly and hugged my friends tightly. I missed Clay so much, but I was very glad I gave him Bear. I missed Bear a lot too, but Clay needed him more than I did now.

The minutes passed by extremely slowly. One minute felt like one hour passed by even though I was only sixty seconds. Sapnap got more restless with the second and started walking around again while Clay's dad was just staring in front of him.

I started crying as I just hoped he was going to be okay and a nurse would quickly come to tell us.

Another hour passed and my heart skipped a beat when a nurse walked in. Clay's dad stood up immediately.

'And? Is he okay?'

It was quiet for a little and then she smiled. 'He's alive. He's still asleep because of the anaesthesia and he will not be able to talk. He needs to recover for a long while, but the surgery went really well so we hope he also doesn't have to rehabilitate for too long.'

'I see him?' I asked as I stood up.

'Only one person is allowed now. He's still asleep.'

'You can go, you're his husband,' Clay's dad said. 'I'm just so relieved he's okay.'

I smiled and looked at his dad, taking a deep breath to remember what Clay would have said now. 'Thank you for letting me go first.'

His dad smiled and rubbed my shoulder and smiled. 'That's no problem!'

I smiled and walked with the nurse to Clay's room. Once the door opened, I quickly walked in and sat next to his bed. He had a big bandage around his head and had his eyes closed. He was holding Bear which caused me to smile.

'Is he still sleeping or is he just laying down?' I whispered.

'He's sleeping, but he can wake up any second now.'

I nodded and grabbed Clay's hand. 'Clay, I love you a lot. I know you would have talked to me if I was laying here so I'm going to talk to you now. I love you so much, Clay. If you wouldn't have been here, I don't think I would have still been alive. I regained my happiness and I'm going to do everything to make you happy again, but I just find it really hard to know how to act sometimes.'

I rested my head on his good shoulder and pressed a kiss on his cheek. 'You don't even know how thankful I am for you,' I whispered. 'So is Sheep.'

I kissed his cheek again and smiled because of how beautiful he was. 'It's still a bit weird to me that you love me the way I love you. I never expected to find someone who loved me. I only had Sheep loving me.'

I felt so grateful for Clay that I started tearing up. A few tears rolled down my face and I held his hand tightly. 'I think ninety percent of the people have made fun of me when I asked a lot of inappropriate and easy questions, but you didn't. You have taken hours to only explain me what love was and how marriage works.'

I had tears streaming down my face.

'I'm always afraid to ask things, I'm always afraid to be seen as a child. I have so much pain inside because of that sometimes. When I would ask someone how you kissed someone, I always got made fun of, but it was hurting me a lot. I wanted to learn about it too, but I just find it difficult to understand. You explained it to me and that means a lot.'

I looked up and noticed the nurse had left a while ago so I kissed his cheek again while I cried.

'I've been so afraid that you would laugh at me one day or be sick of all my questions. I'm still a little bit scared you will leave me if I don't want sex with you in the next few years. Maybe I do want it, but I don't think I'm ready for it now and it makes me scared. Scared that you will leave me and make fun of me, but then I remember that you aren't like that. You're one of the only ones who aren't like that.'

Clay suddenly squeezed my hand and I smiled shortly.

'What I wanted to say with this is that I love you and even though I don't say it a lot, I love you so much that I sometimes when I'm alone I cry because I'm so happy to be with you. I love you more than anyone on this earth and I want to be with you forever, so I hope you won't leave me.'

Clay opened his eyes for just a second and closed them again, pulling me closer. 'I was awake the whole time,' he whispered with a hoarse voice.

'Why didn't you reply?'

'I wanted to listen,' he mumbled, holding me tight. 'When I got driven away for the surgery, I closed my eyes so you were the last thing I saw if I might have died. When I opened my eyes, you were the first thing I saw.'

He was speaking really unclearly and one sentence took him a minute to say, but I was really glad he could still speak and remember me.

'I love you,' he whispered. He looked at me for a second and closed his eyes again, falling back asleep.

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