I refuse to breathe, but I'm striving to embrace life.
I can't breathe, but I'm fighting to hold on.
My chest is tight.
And I stand in their presence shaking. I enter the bus shaking.
Subconsciously I'm not breathing, not one ounce of breath and when I think of it, occasionally, I inhale.
A shallow breath.
Breathe,
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe.....
It becomes my mantra. But it won't happen, my lungs won't fill and as a result, I'm shaking, my heart rate increasing, I can feel and hear it in my ear beating slowly but with a heavy weight and I begin to panic.
Why won't I breathe!
Everything is slow.
And i am dying to rip this burden from my chest, that's what I want to do,I want to tear my chest open and take my heart and squueze it, relieve it....
Relieve myself.
Yes its that time again.
The desperate time.
When I want to be better, when I want to feel relieved when I want to scream, when I wanna cry and break and die!
