Gorillaz and me (PT 4)

Chapter 32 (end)

//it's short but it has to end somewhere//

It didn't have to end this way... But it did.
I had to do it. For everybody. Apparently there was a limit to...all of this. And if I didn't do it soon...she was going to kill personally. Apart from everything else the only thing I could do was apologize. Apologize for every single inconvenience I had caused everybody, including myself. And for the way i stalled.

I just thought i had more time... But there was no more time. It was over.

Weeks...months! I had been keeping a secret. I've been plagued with nightmares of the wolf girl, even during my moments of happiness. It was always her that caused me to feel so... Horrible. So, i had to do it. Had to. Before anybody else got hurt.

A brief explanation:
Upon learning about Murdoc's release I moved back in. Things were steady...happy. For a while.
Murdoc was angry about Cy and I at first but adapted quickly.
I even got a new drinking buddy. I'd smile, i'd laugh. If feel joy and at peace but those would leave as soon as they begin.
I'd get angry and sad again, and again. Knowing the truth about everybody wanting me dead.
Even Cy who always told me the truth... For the most part. But for some reason...a part of me knew she wanted me gone as well.

They were using me as a joke. Nearly a month after living there everybody showed their true colours even Cy...so. I ran away.

Far away. It was raining harshly and the pavement was hardly lit by the street lamps.
I kept hearing screams and howling. I knew she was nearby. Circling me in herding me like a stray sheep. I knew what she wanted me. I knew she was tired of waiting, and i knew today was the day I had to do this. So, I kept running. Far away so i was unseen my others.
Running as fast as I could until I reached a bridge. I was out of breath. Looking directly at her I panted heavily. I watched as she began growling and barking.

"What!? What do you want from me!?"
I yelled at her in the rain. Screaming at her until my throat hurt. I looked at the bridge then back at her.
"This is what you want right? What everyone wants. Yew want me? Fine! I'm DONE! YEW CAN HAVE ME!"

I climbed on to the highest part. There was no traffic. Not a sign. But the rain pounded hard on my head making my body shiver and ache.
  I was done. Done with everything. Done. with everyone. I was FUCKING DONE!

"SIA, NO!"

I hear what sounded like 2D call out. But it was too late to identify who it actually was.
Laying my head back I closed my eyes, feeling the raindrops on my skin as I fell.
For a brief moment... Everything was fine. No stress, no worry... And it only lasted for a second.

It was soft at first and then...rock hard.
It didn't hurt for long.
It was warm...really warm. And then cold. Like ice. It felt wonderful and free. Like the feeling you get when you finally reach home after a long and stressful day out. It felt very much like sleep too...

They say the last thing you see before you die is your life flashing before your eyes...
I didn't see much. There was lights... Voices, but I couldn't see or hear a lot. Perhaps it was just... Everything that has ever happened to me all in one big flash. Funny, i always imagined it being like a film. I never thought when they say it flashes that... It was in actual flashes.
And the last thing i remember? I can't... It was like, every time I tried to think I was stopped by some unknown force subconsciously telling me that it was going to be alright now.

I felt as though I could finally breathe freely. Like i never actually knew freedom was this nice. Parts of me felt ice cold Ice cold, but... I knew it was going to be alright now.

This was it.
The end. No going back.
It felt like I was being cradled by a cloud. There wasn't really much to say, I had nothing to say.
Any regrets to hold me back or earthly possessions? None. Nothing belonged to me and nobody actually loved me so...i stayed right where I was. Letting the cold abyss consume me. At least I wouldn't have to deal with the wolf demon anymore. I won't have to listen to Mum's bitching or the band's whining...or Cy's displeasure. It was better...all better.

This was for the best.

"You're a fucking idiot."

Wait... What?