Vanilla (A Daisuga FanFic)

calculations

Daichi's POV

Days have gone by so slow recently. It's been nearly ten months, but it feels like years. It feels like years since I've seen him.

I'm in the wrong, and I know that. I know that what I did was unexpected; out of nowhere. I don't know what I was thinking.

Sometimes I open up his contact and debate whether or not I should call him, ask him how he's doing.

I look at the last messages we have sometimes, too.

'I love you lots :]" Is the final message he sent me. Even when he said that, I still had the thought that he didn't.

why was I so stupid?

I have no clue. I can't blame the immaturity or anything on age, because in reality, this wasn't years ago, it was months.

- - -

"Daichi!" Risa shouts gleefully, her smile spread across her face.

"Hi, Risa" I send her a smile, wrapping my arm around her waist as we walk.

"I have to use the bathroom really quick!" I nod my head and watch as she makes her way into the bathroom.

I sit down on the bench that sat closest to the bathrooms.

"Mun, please, stop— SEE?" I hear a familiar voice, followed by an all too familiar laugh. My heart sank into my stomach, afraid to look up, but my eyes look up anyway, seeing him

Seeing his smile when he picks his friend back up from falling, her obviously embarrassed.

"I hate you, Kou. I hate you." I kept my eyes on him as the smile on his face never disappeared, "we both know that isn't true." He laughs, "are we going to find somewhere to eat or not?"

He's improved since the last time I saw him. The dark circles around his eyes were still there, but they were getting lighter. There was no bracelets on his arm, there was nothing that signified he was doing bad.

"Hey, you two! Quit messing around!" I look over to the right to see this woman, "we have to go before the meeting starts!"

"We'll eat later, okay? My mom is in a rush." He nods, the smile still on his face, "it's okay, I can wait." The girl grabs his hand and pulls him away. But before he leaves, he looks over my direction and I finally divert my stare to the ground.

why do I feel like I'm suffocating?

- - -

"Hey, is something wrong?" Risa asks, finally breaking the unnerving silence we've been sitting in, "what do you mean? Nothing's wrong."

She looks up at me as bites the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit she has. It's familiar.

"Don't lie..I can tell." It was a silence again, "I like you, Daichi..but I don't know anything about you— I mean, you kind of came out of the blue."

The truth is, I didn't want to tell her the truth. I didn't want her to know the things I did with him. I didn't want her to know about that part of me.

"I just— I seen someone today that I haven't seen in a while, that's all." Her gaze never diverts from me, even from across the room I can feel her eyes on me.

"I feel like you'd be happy to see an old friend." She reasons, and she's right. I usually would be happy to see people from Karasuno.

"Yeah— but I..I hurt this friend. really, really, really bad before I left."

"Physically?" She questions, and I know it's only a curiosity question, but it makes me angry.

"No." I say quickly, getting up to change the subject, "do you want something to eat?"