Last First Kiss | JJ Maybank OBX

52. Protection?

It's 11 p.m. by the time we get back to the Chateau. We spent the past few hours swimming, surfing, taking pictures, shotgunning beers, and being idiots together. Needless to say, we're all exhausted.

"We're gonna head out, but tonight was fun. P4L," Pope says, holding Kiara's hand next to him. We just got back to the Chateau, all of us exiting the Twinkie and making our way into the house.

John B turns around from the front door and waves goodbye before entering the house with Sarah behind him. I hug Pope and Kie before they leave, telling them to use protection and laughing as they flip me off and drive away.

"Alone at last," JJ says as I walk up to him, holding his hands out for me to take. He's standing by his truck, assuming we're going back to his house to sleep.

"I promised John B we could have a sibling bonding day tomorrow, can we stay here tonight?" I ask him, looking in his eyes and taking in how blue they are. He's dreamy.

"As long as we don't hear him and Sarah going at it, sure," JJ says, both of us cringing at the thought.

"Agreed," I say. We hurry to my room in the house, hoping to avoid any ~noises~ from John B's room. Luckily, we succeed. I lock my door once we're inside my room, knowing John B barges into rooms without knocking.

I feel JJ's hands on my hips as I lock the door, and I lean into his touch. I throw my head back on his shoulder, feeling his body against mine. "I'm glad you locked the door," JJ whispers before connecting his lips to my neck.

"Mmm," I mutter back, closing my eyes and taking in the electric feeling where his lips are. I moan as he begins sucking on my neck, surely leaving a mark but I don't care. I move my hand to his hair, pulling on it as he continues kissing my neck. After a few minutes, I can't take it any longer. I turn around and connect our lips, kissing him passionately. JJ wastes no time in picking me up and carrying me to the bed, both of us falling onto it. With our lips still connected, he hovers over me and grips onto my hips tightly.

"I love you," JJ says, pulling away from my lips to look in my eyes.

"I love you," I say back, putting my hands on the back of his neck and pulling him back to me. Our lips move in sync as our bodies crash against each other, my body moving up towards him. His hands move from my hips to my bikini top, so I take it as a sign to sit up. I break the kiss and sit up, keeping eye contact as I untie the back of my bikini and let it hang loose on my body.

JJ shakes his head and looks at me with a devilish grin. "I told you I would be taking this off of you," he says, almost scolding me for untying it myself. He leans forward and plants kisses along my collar bone and down my chest where the bikini rests loosely. His hands move to my back, and I suppress a moan from the feeling of his rough hands against my soft skin. He unties the top of my bikini before tossing it to the side. "You're so fucking sexy, princess," he says as he leans down and sucks on my nipple. He maintains eye contact, his hand on one while sucking the other. I feel nothing but pleasure, and I'm shocked when he stops touching me.

"Don't stop," I say, practically whining for him to touch me.

JJ stands up and takes off his clothes, leaving him in nothing. "Turn around," he demands, voice strong and adamant. I do just that; I turn around and lay on my stomach with him behind me. I'm in nothing but my bikini bottoms, but I know they'll be off soon. I sink into his touch as I feel his hands on my waist. "Is this alright?" he asks, moving his hand down to where I need him most. He moves my bikini bottoms to the side to feel how wet I am.

"Yes, fuck yes," I say, putting my hand over his and moving it against me, desperate for his touch.

"Wait," JJ says, and I turn slightly to look at him.

"Hmm?" I ask, confused why he's stopping.

"I just..." he starts to say something but stops.

I turn around and sit up so I'm right in front of him. We're sat face to face on the bed, concern and confusion in the air.

"I think we should start using protection," JJ says, getting straight to the point. 

I look at him confused. "Where is this coming from?" I ask.

He runs a hand through his hair before elaborating. "We've been having sex a lot recently... like a lot. I just think we should be safe and start using condoms," he says.

I stand up and pick up JJ's shirt from the floor, slipping it over my head and standing in front of him. "Be safe? You mean avoid another pregnancy?" I ask, getting frustrated.

"Honestly, yes. When we lost the baby, our world came crashing down. I don't think we should take the chance that that happens again, at least not now. We need time," JJ says, reaching out to hold my hands.

I shake his hands off, not wanting him to touch me right now. I feel tears in my eyes and I can't help the emotional response that's about to come out of my mouth. "I'm not afraid to get pregnant again, so why are you scared? I lost the baby. Me. Not you," I say.

"No, you're wrong. I have an equal part in this, Olivia. That was my baby too. I was just as excited as you were and I was just as devastated after everything. I was there. It wasn't just you. I was always there," JJ says, defending himself. He stands up and puts some clothes on, and I sit on the edge of the bed with my head between my hands.

"I'm really overwhelmed right now, Jay. Can you give me some space?" I ask. "I-I don't want to say something that I'll regret," I add, looking up at him as he stands in front of me.

He wipes away a few tears that fell from my eyes before leaning down and kissing my forehead. "I'll go sleep on the couch," he says before turning around and walking towards the door.

"I love you," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

JJ stops in the doorway and turns around. "I love you, Olivia. That's never going to change," he says. "And I'm not scared to have a baby. I can't wait to have kids with you. But I'm terrified of losing another baby... and I'm just as terrified of losing you," he adds before turning around and walking away.

I can't help the tears that fall down my face from JJ's words. I fall back onto the bed and crawl under the covers, crying myself to sleep. All I can think about is what he said before leaving. Why does he think he'll lose me?

The last thing on my mind as I fall asleep is this:

Should I be scared of losing him?

__________

word count: 1314

Shorter chapter than usual but a very important one. Notice how Liv and JJ are getting better at communication 👀 I'm proud of them. Tomorrow is my last day before senior year of college starts, so I'll be busy. I wanted to get this chapter out tonight so y'all can enjoy! Hope y'all love it :)

xoxo, C ❣️