Six Letters, Two Words [NALU: FANFICTION]

CHAPTER #30

a/n: I slightly edit this chapter 

I WAS surrounded by the wonders of perfect love stories since I was young. I grew up dreaming what it feels like to have someone who will love you just the way you are. I grew up wanting to experience the feeling of being loved and to be loved. Hoping that someday, I'll get the heart fluttering love story just like what my mother told me when I was a little.

I never wanted the grandeur of expensive gifts, the delight of mind-boggling surprises, or the rush feelings of being the center of not only that special someone's attention but also the world as they envy the big sweet gestures.

What I wanted was a typical prince charming sweeping me off my feet. I wanted to feel his warm hand holding mine. Like he was telling me that he will never let go,

I wanted him to notice every single thing about me. Everything.

I wanted simple things. But I was so foolish to think that I could get everything in just a blink of my eyes.

I was so stupid to think that my life is like a Disney princess that when I found him he will love me back just like how I love him. I was so stupid...

I didn't know I was going to get to the point where I would want to get away from him. I didn't know I was going to get to the point where I didn't want to love him anymore. And most of all, I didn't know I was going to get to the point, I was going to think for myself.

I looked straight into his eyes and smiled bitterly.

"Because... I don't want to love you anymore" I mumble but enough for him to hear.

I used to think I could love him for the rest of my life. I used to think that... he is the person who will give me happiness. Happiness I see in my parents as I grow up. Happiness I want to experience.

But... no one has told me that when you love... you must experience hellish pain before you get the happiness you wished for.

"Lucy"

I didn't take my eyes off him "You meant to show me your confession to her, have you?"

"Its not like that, Lucy"

My eyes clouded with my own tears again as I remember what I saw out of the shop Erza "But I wasn't expecting you to reject me like that, Natsu. It never entered my mind that you showed me your heart-warming confession to Lisanna" I wanted to shout at him to make me feel like this.

But like what I've said before, it wasn't his fault why I'm in pain. It was my fault for loving him too much. But what he did is beyond my imagination. I never knew he would break my heart like this. I never knew that he would show me that... confession of him.

Did I upset him with my confession? Right. I saw his expression when I confessed my feelings. He was confused and upset with me.

I can't help but say the resentment I harbor with him. For ten years, he was the only one I loved. And even though I knew in myself he couldn't afford to love me. I was hoping that he wouldn't hurt me like this when he reject me. 

All along, I knew that my feelings for him will remain as one - sided love. My tears keeps on streaming down my cheeks as I felt my heart being stab by thousands of knives. It makes me feel suffocate. 

"When I confess my feelings for you, I know that these feelings will remain as one-sided love. I never knew that it would make you upset." I smile bitterly as my tears go down on my pale cheeks "I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry for confessing my feelings towards you. I'm sorry for the damage that I'd caused to your life. I'm sorry... I'm really... really sorry."