Resilience

75| She was supposed to be dead

"So say it out loud, I want to hear it from you. Tell me you are ugly." My mother said in a soft sweet voice but the look on her face was something I only understood later: mock.

She was mocking me, but I didn't realise it at the time. Instead, I complied, relieved that she was speaking to me so nicely for once, but my heart was still hurting.

"I am ugly, momma." I declared softly, looking down as embarrassment clouded me and hurt filled my heart once again.

The next thing I heard was a loud laughter and my mother pushed me to the side harshly and returned to watching TV, while still laughing at me.

💋 R   E   S   I   L   I   E   N   C   E 💋

Those words alone were enough to sow a seed of insecurity, which grew stronger with each passing time, building a strong foundation in my heart that I've been wanting and trying to break for years.

And it didn't limit itself to just my appearance, but it grew too extreme, questioning and ridiculing every bit of my existence.

You know how there's some things you never forget, some memories that are permanently etched to your mind.

And no matter how good or bad, they are not forgotten, even though however much you want them to.

I have got a lot of those memories as well, but this one memory of my mother in particular never seems to fade away from my mind.

And each time, the pain and embarrassment that follows is just as extreme as the last.

This is not the only memory that came flooding back to me. I felt a sudden charge of memories, which were similar to these but much worse as my brain released the set of episodic memories that I couldn't even try to hold back anymore.

My eyes didn't once look away from the person in front of me. I couldn't even move my frozen body, which seemed to be stuck in its place.

My brain stopped comprehending, and my eyes couldn't focus on anything but the figure in front of me.

After Jesse kidnapped Lucca and I, he showed us a video on his iPad which succeeded in evacuating every bit of reluctance and struggle from our bodies, which we both had against the kidnapping.

Lucca and I couldn't take our eyes away from the sight of our unconscious friends along with Aaron and Daniel, who were all tied to the metal shackles that have been chained to the ceiling causing their body to float forward while their cuffed hands restrained them from falling.

The feeling of dread and fright coursed through my veins as the sense of terror caused me to shiver from the set of goosebumps that sprang up, making me even more terrified of everything that happened.

The next thing I knew, the car came to a halt as Lucca and I were dragged out of it and into another, but this time our vision was blocked by a black bag placed over our faces.

My panic started to rise as my hands searched for Lucca's while my voice called out his name in fear, while his reaction was the same.

And once we were able to locate each other, we didn't wait for time to cling onto one another and that's how we spent the whole ride.

Jesse made us switch a few more cars, but we still couldn't see anything. The bags on our heads were finally taken off when we reached the airport.

Jesse warned us not to do anything as he led us towards the private section of the airport after the legal formalities.

Lucca and I didn't even try to run or make an attempt to fight our situation, knowing well that it could have very disastrous results for our friends.