[COMPLETED]
"Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient."
― Steve Maraboli
She has experienced more pain in her 15 years of life than many people do in their lifetimes. Her life has always been filled with pain, em...
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MASON's POV
I am a fucking moron.
I just hurt my own sister.
Why the hell can't I for once shut out my anger and handle the situation reasonably.
My anger had always been a problem for me since the last few years, but earlier no matter how much my anger and outbursts ended up hurting anyway, it didn't bother me as much as it did today and I know that this time I fucked up pretty badly.
For fucks sake, I could practically hear the shattering of my heart breaking into tiny shards when I saw the devastating and scared look on my baby sister's face.
My mind kept replaying the images of my Bella looking so damn terrified, and the reason for her fear was nobody else but me.
I scared her—
My own sister.
She was scared of her own family, of me—
I am not going to lie, she test me so fucking much, she has managed to get on my nerves every single time with her back talking but it also made me happy, knowing that my sister was capable to deal with my shit.
And she doesn't take crap from anyone, it was a fucking relief—
As an older brother I was supposed to protect her and make her feel safe and I did the most terrible job doing just that.
Although it wouldn't be the first time that I failed as a brother, I'm the worst brother– a horrible person.
The voices in my head kept yelling at me, blaming me for my sister's tears, her fear, her sobs, her pain and no matter how much I wanted them to silence, I still couldn't bring the courage to ask them to stop because I knew deep down that they were right.
She did not deserve any of this, fuck she doesn't even deserve me as her brother, hell no one does because I'm a mess and it's not fair for anyone to have to deal with me and my problems.
I messed up by thinking that if I created enough distance between us, I wouldn't end up hurting her but obviously everything in my life had to go against me.
I've been harbouring a feeling of resentment since the incident that happened four years ago, and since then the hate that I feel for myself has only grown larger and larger leaving me broken and all alone.
Every time I hurt my sister from the garbage that I couldn't hold myself from speaking out, the weight on my soul grows heavier and now it feels like I might not be able to bear the pain of it for much longer.
Not once had I intended to hurt or scare her from my words, all I ever wanted was to create a distance between us and truth be told I wanted her to despise me so that I could start to hate myself a little less knowing that I have someone else to do it for me.
