Bianca's new life

Life as we know it (Twenty-seven)

Bianca Pov

So Rowan, Sophie and I walked into school for our final exam for our GCSE's, (I do know that this could sound like the beginning of one of those bloody jokes here, but please don't comment on it mate), it felt like we were walking towards the gallows, (I know that's a morbid comparison, but fucking sue me, I'm just telling you what teenage me felt, and I was slightly dramatic because I was a teenager), even though it was actually more like we were almost at the point where we had to make our own decisions about our lives, (which is not an easy decision to make here Babes).

It felt a little bittersweet, (well, it was very bittersweet), as this meant that after that day we would be on our way to leading our lives, (yes this also very dramatic but it was actually true), and I was scared that it meant that I would left behind by everyone, (even if that was a slightly impossible scenario, but that's also not the point here, I was a worried little bean then), and so my emotions were just building and building and building into something that I didn't know how to deal with, (I might've cried in the girls bathroom at some point but I didn't tell anyone about it).

The bell had gone, (unfortunately for us here), so we were going to our respective classes, (wow Bianca, just wow), as you do, Becca and I were going to the same class, as we had the same exam, (as you could figure out here), we were a bundle of nerves though, (though apparently I was showing it more, because of course I was), as we both knew that it was one of our last exams, (it was exhausting so that could have been a contributing factor as to why I was so anxious about everything that day).

"You ok Bee?"
"Yeah Bex, I'm ok"
"Ya sure, you seem sad"
"Well, I am a bit sad"
"Is it became it's the last day of us being together?"
"How'd you guess that?"
"Because I feel that way a bit too"
"You do?"
"Oh totally, but if we both feel that way then it can't be too bad as that means that we both care too much about our friendship to let it die"
"That actually was helpful, thank you Bex"
"Anytime Bee, anytime"

I did feel a bit better about it all, (which actually was an achievement for Becca, as that wouldn't work if it was anybody else), but I was still a bit worried that our friendship would just disappear, (yes, it doesn't necessarily make a lot of sense, but I'm an anxious bean), though Becca could see right through me, (though being friends from the age of 11 will do that to you I guess).

"You're still worried about it, and it's not exam nerves as that looks different on you Babes"
"(Sighs), You're right Bex, I am still worried but there's not much else that we can do"
"You're right, but you should know that you knowing it won't change all that much won't change the fact you're worried, you just have to ride it out unfortunately Bee"

I felt awful that I was worrying about the future that I couldn't really enjoy the moment as it was passing us by like there was no problems in the world, (even though there were many, many problems), but I was just so worried about the future and I couldn't snap out of it no matter how much I wanted to Babes.

"I'm so glad for our exams to be fucking over!"
"Me too Ro, me too"
"You barely did anything for our exams Clo"
"Oh (raspberry), that doesn't change my feelings here Bex"
"No, I guess it doesn't"

I was very excited about not having to do any more exams after that day (I mean you would be too in my shoes), and it did feel less tense around us as everyone was relieved about that, but I still felt anxious about everything changing and I didn't want to feel that way because I was glad about us being done with exams, (yes, it was that fucking complicated here Babes).

Anyway, we spent as much time as physically possible on that last day, as we all knew that we weren't going to spend that much time together ever again, (and I think that everyone was sad about that), and it was weird to think about as we had spent almost everyday together for 5 years, and it was all coming to an end, because we were all going to do our own thing, (even though I don't think that the teachers were all that happy about how long we were taking).