Bianca's new life

New Member of the family (Eighteen)

Bianca Pov

So the next morning was slightly weird, as ya know, (or maybe you don't know, I can't assume your knowledge base here Babes), there was now a baby just chilling here, (and Sophie's baby wasn't due for another month or so), (and maybe she was sleeping rather than chilling but ya know what I mean here Babes), feelings aren't a strong suit of mine, so I'm keeping it short and sweet here, (well maybe not, as I tend to ramble a lot about nonsense sometimes), (yeah I already failed the assignment, I'm really sorry about that Babes).

Anyway, I didn't go back to sleep, (as there was a lot of things running through my head at like 100mph at the time and so sleep was impossible here), honestly I kept thinking that I was going to be sent back to my Mum's, (don't ask me why I thought that, as we both know that it was slightly ridiculous and that she wouldn't have taken me back anyway, but emotions and thoughts connected to emotions don't always make sense), but it was a real fear that I had and I didn't know what to do with it, (well other than like cry my fucking eyes out, but that wasn't necessarily the healthiest way to actually deal with it, ya know Babes).

I was sitting on the windowsill, (as you do), Dad came over and sat across from me, (which wasn't unusual but it did feel a bit different this time), since that was the only way he could've sat there too, (unless I was literally sat on top of him and that's not necessarily the most comfortable thing ever), it was like he knew how I was feeling, (though it was probably laced in my body language), turns out Ro was right him just fucking knowing about bloody everything, (and that is kind of freaky if I think about it for too long).

"Sweetheart, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm ok"
"You don't seem it, are you sure?"

I wanted to continue to say that I was fine, not because I was actually fine, (I mean no shit Bianca, you being scared is the opposite of you being fine here), but because I didn't want to worry him about it, ya know, (I don't know why that was the way I was going about this mission, as it was bloody years ago, I'm just here to explain what happened, ya know), but then I saw how soft and caring Dad's face was, (not that his was uncaring usually, but it was extra caring), well I burst into tears, (well that was a slight understatement, because I started just sobbing and I felt awful about that afterwards Babes).

"Come here"

I hugged him so tight that my arms hurt slightly, but I honestly needed the comfort at this point, ya know, after about 20 minutes, I had stopped sobbing, (I felt awful that I started sobbing, but I can't control how I feel, I can just control how I conduct that here), so that was when some questions were asked, well I mean no shit Bee, you were fucking sobbing, (also fear is a really fucking weird feeling and I don't like how it had a grip on me Babes).

"Ok Darling, do you want to talk about what got you so worked up?"
"I thought that you were going to send me back-"
"No, why would we do that?"
"Because there's no room for me anymore"
"Nonsense, there's always room for you here, you're one of us now Darling, so you can't escape this mad house that easy Sweetheart, ok"
"I wouldn't want to"
"Good, (kisses cheek), how about a cup of tea then, eh?"
"That would be nice thank you"

So Dad us both a cuppa, as the last 12 hours hadn't exactly been the best if I was being honest with you here, (and yes, I know that a cuppa can't solve all of our problems, even though that would be amazing, but it helped me feel a bit more prepared for life here, as ludicrous as that sounds), it being the early morning, nobody else was actually awake yet, I was surprised that Rowan was still asleep but I wasn't going to question it, (she's just as insomniac as Dad was here).

I don't know if I blocked it out or if we just didn't mention it again, but I don't remember us having another conversation about that whole sobbing mess thing like ever again, (is any of that last sentence healthy?, probably not, regardless of which way it went, but I also don't want to question it too much, ya know), but I was kind of glad that I don't remember, (that sounds really fucking bad).