A Worthy Opponent (HunterxHunter)

Chapter 20: A Glass Wall

I held my head. "Troublesome? I am not."

"Yes, you are," she sighed, pressing her fingers into her forehead. "He does it on purpose, you do it on accident." Ah. I bit the side of my cheek looking away. "And you both act like extremists in your own way."

"Extremists?" I would have never thought of an intense word like that. "Me?"

Her eyes brows furrowed even more as she leaned in to feel my forehead with the back of her hand. "Raine, I know you care about others, but you have this habit of throwing yourself out there without knowing what you're getting into. I know you get anxious worrying about people all the time. I didn't have to see everything that happened today to know you were doing that."

I recalled her telling me by the berry bush how it was an insecurity of mine to be weak and unable to protect. I rubbed my arm still unable to meet her gaze. "I don't see what's wrong with sacrificing myself for others..." Maybe I was afraid to be selfish, but Mother wouldn't just sit around. She tried to save us so how could I not do the same.

"Raine, when heroes are hurting, who takes care of them?"

I understood what she was saying but I still shook my head. "I don't care...what matters is them."

"Raine look at me!" I snapped back to her, alarmed at her voice. Her aura seeped into a darker pink like a withering rose. "What would happen if you had gotten yourself killed..." Her voice throbbed at the end, and I forced myself to hold her gaze. She was clearly hurt, now that I was here. Listening. My heart filled with shame from this reaction I've caused. "Don't you write notes to your dad? What would he think if he lost you too? He would be alone...I would—it would affect others too," she stuttered gripping her dress. The pain in her voice made my own throat swell as I watched the struggle of her aura attempt to reveal this concern. And fear.

Yes, Bisky. I wouldn't want to lose you either.

"I'm sorry. I just—I didn't know...I wasn't thinking. But I guess that's the problem, right?" I took another breath to even my words.

"It's a crime not to enjoy life," she said. "Sometimes it's good to take care of yourself too."

Her aura shifted a shade lighter while her hand reached for mine. It was nice to have someone care about me like dad. Bisky encouraged me to take keep trying while pointing out my flaws in a caring manner. I wanted so badly to make her happy and show my appreciate for her teaching me but... "I don't know how..." I took my hand back and huddled against the headboard.

"Let me show you. Just don't lose yourself again when people here need you."

I tilted my head at her. "What people need me? Nobody needs me."

"I just said, your father, Raine."

"He's not people."

"But it's that enough?!"

I frowned at that thought. I just insulted the fact that my Dad didn't need me. I'm an idiot. I promised him I'd come back didn't I? "You're right. I couldn't lose myself if he's waiting at home for my return." He's probably still tending to his garden. I smiled, briefly. I would love to have his soup again.

"Exactly, Raine. And your friends would miss you." She crossed her arms. "I hate it say it but even that clown looked worried."

I stiffened, suddenly remembering what he had done. What he just put me through. "What do you mean? Wait—how did you find me? Where's Kurapika?" I started to push myself off the bed up but she stopped me.

"Hold on, Raine. Hold on. Right now, let's worry about you. But they're fine."

An urge continued to push me to get up, but I stuffed it down.