Non Verbal

32

Evan was a year older than us apparently. Darkish brown hair, super fair skin. He was conventionally attractive in most ways. But I could also feel him watching, us all, observing the dynamic. He had questions, I think.

Sutton didn't say anything about his glass not being refilled, just carried on talking to Evan and I watched the side of his face.

"Lottie." India's voice was soft, kind, which was a little surprising knowing that Rowan and she had fought about my existence the other day. But I looked up at her, met her gaze.

She was pretty, she had dressed up for tonight too, we all had a little. It was nice seeing everyone dressed up. I like it, it makes me feel very human. The idea of adding makeup to our faces, little jewels to our hands, body. I don't know, I just find it cute.

I nodded, smiling back.

"Do you know Solana? From school, she is new." She asks and my eyebrows raise slightly. Rowan turned his head from talking quietly to India's father and he turned to tune into this conversation, so did Sutton a little. Which made me smile.

"Yeah, why's that?" I ask.

She smiles and nods to Fran. "Francesca was just telling me about how her university has a feminist society, and I was thinking how good it would be for our school to get something like that running."

Oh. I nod.

"Solana comes to council meetings, she's pretty clued up on LGBTQ and women's rights, thought she would be really good to get involved and also obviously you..." India says.

My mum turns to us. "That's a good idea girls."

I just nod a little.

That would be cool, but let's be real, I can't take any more on.

"I was thinking because obviously you've been pretty vocal about these issues at school in the past that we could start it up together?"

I look at my mum and she smiles encouragingly at me, but I know she knows what I am thinking when she just shrugs.

I turn back to explain how I would definitely support but cannot really give too much of myself to this when Fran makes eye contact with me.

"You've been vocal?" She asks.

I smile a little sheepishly. "Er we did assemblies." I say.

My mum laughs. "I am sure India is referring to the disruptive behaviour." My mum says, giving me a pointed look and Mrs Carter comes and sits down besides Rowan now, joining us.

The other people at the top end of the table are having their own conversation, but mum and Nova and Mrs Carter are tuned into ours.

"Disruptive behaviour?" She asks, raising her eyebrows slightly in amusement at my mum.

My mum laughs, knocking her shoulder into mine and I just scrunch my face up.

"My daughter likes to get in trouble fighting the patriarchy."

"I fight for justice ok?"

They laugh at me and I just smile a little, turning back to India.

"Yeah I can definitely talk to you about it, I am super busy though with the show coming up. But I could get my people-"

I wince at 'my people'. That sounds weird, bad. Even India raises an eyebrow at me, Sutton chuckles under his breath, turning to look at me.

"I just mean that I could get my friends from Tea involved because they all became really educated about everything over the past month and also I could talk to Ellie about it because you'll need one of the class presidents on bored."