𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 -

eating disorders.. { all }

{ safe to read no smut }
your were only young when you decided you should starved yourself, you were insecure and hated how your body looked.. you didn't eat for around 3 months and you were living by yourself so no one could tell you to eat so you kinda felt lucky but now you actually regret not eating for a whole 3 months.

Me and my brother Ethan torchio had to go shopping but I didn't want to as I was currently asleep with damiano because they're afraid I might do something during the night like.. yeah you wouldn't want to know, but I absolutely hate going out not because I have social anxiety but because I've had a horrifying past!

"Y/N GET UP WE LEAVE IN AN HOUR!" Yelled Ethan from downstairs!
"Mm" was all I said
Ethan stormed up the stairs and started shaking me violently so I could get up.
"Okay okay.. I'm up! I'm going for a shower"
"You better" he said quietly ( Ethan )
I jumped in the shower and I took about half n hour, but after that I washed my face put some light make up, and brushed my teeth as well as getting dressed but it looked like I wasn't ready..
" you like fi-.. why are you pale?"
"Oh maybe cause I am excited how we're going to the mall." I say sarcastically
" well you need to make things easier for your self and conquer your fears!"
"Fine.."

We walk out to the car I get in the passengers side as Ethan gets into the drivers side, I get a text from vic on the måneskin group chat I have!

vic: where going to a cafe after y/n and Ethan get back who's coming?
Dami: count me in!
Thomas: me
Ethan: I'll go
Y/n: uhh sure..
vic: alright what are we gonna order so we don't spend hours there!
y/n: just a latte and a croissant please
all: same
vic: easy, see you after!

I turn my phone and Ethan starts driving! about 5 minutes later we are here and I'm already shaking a little bit Ethan rubs my hand with his thumb to reassure me that everything will be okay, we walked in and today was a bad day to be in the mall it was packed with people and I hated that I cling into Ethan as we go into the stores we needed. We come out and walk through a massive crowd of people I get really pale.
" Ethan I think I'm gonna pass out!"
"Y/n?" He says as my eyes close
He carries me out to the car and drives to the cafe knowing I'd wake up soon!
"I passed out didn't I.."
"mhm, it's okay though we're almost at the cafe"
Ethan parked in a parking spot and we got out heading into the cafe as vic Dami and Thomas were already there.
They saw us and immediately noticed how pale I was.. they give me forgiving looks

we sit down and vic tells us she has already ordered our food so I was glad about that, stuck in my thoughts the waitress came over and started putting down the plates rather loudly which knocked me out of my thoughts and I flinched the band looked at me with confused expressions but I just laughed it off not wanting them to know that I actually came out of an abusive relationship not to long ago..
I wanted my coffee so I drank first but now I didn't feel like my croissant so my thoughts took over while I was staring at the croissant and Thomas said something
" you know you don't eat it with your eyes you use your mouth for it.."
i look up quickly and shake my head as a no saying I couldn't eat it.. Damiano took the plate and ripped the croissant into small pieces then pushed it back over to me I took the littlest piece and put it in my mouth clenching my eyes and shaking my head as a sign that I couldn't eat it..
"If you don't eat it you get more for lunch.." said vic dryly..
"I'm not hungry I can't eat it,"
" well your gonna have to if you don't want a bigger lunch.." said Thomas butting into the small conversation about me eating a stupid croissant!
"I SAID I CAN'T EAT IT" I yelled getting looks from the other people around then I stormed out to the front of the cafe and walked towards home.. it was about a 30 minute walk I could easily walk that..

" I think we went I bit far.." said Ethan
"I agree.." Thomas said sadly
"God I wish she didn't do starve her self.." damiano said sadly putting his head in his hands
"Let's go find her.." said vic
they get up get in their cars to go find y/n
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heyy! Sorry I haven't posted but this is probably the part 1 of this but I actually like it but if you have any problems with eating disorder and get offended by other people writing about it I'm sorry but pls do not read it, unless you want to ofc!
(Extra long imagine cause I haven't posted for a while.)
date- 10.7.21 Saturday 9:16 pm
words- 893