Innocence

Chapter 72

CAMILLA'S POV

"I want to talk to her." Draco said.

Everyone whipped around and started talking over each other. "No fucking way!" Fred said. "Fuck no!" George added. "Not bloody likely," Ron said. "Piss off," Harry exclaimed. "You can go to hell," Ginny yelled. "Not happening." Hermione said. They argued and argued until he spoke.

"Just let me talk to her. Please, I need to explain." he said. "She doesn't want to talk to you." Harry said. "Why don't you let her tell me that?" Draco snapped. "Because she's afraid of you, you bloody idiot. Why do you think she's hiding behind Harry?" Ginny asked. Draco looked past Ginny, at me, and saw she was right. "Please Camilla, please just let me talk to you." he pleaded. I could hear the strain in his voice.

His eyes were full of sorrow and tears and I looked at Harry. He shook his head. "You don't have to do this. You don't owe him anything." he said. "I know." I said. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I need to know why. I need to know why he did it." I said. Harry nodded. He took my hand and walked up to Draco with me. "You two are going to sit right here on this table. All of us will be over there. If you so much as raise your voice at her, I will put you in a coffin, six feet under, and you will never see the light of day again. Do you understand me?" Harry asked. Draco just nodded. I nodded at my friends and they sat at the table across the way from us. Draco sat down on the bench and I sat on the opposite side. My heart was racing. And not in a good way. Not in the way he used to make me feel. Like I had butterflies in my stomach. It was different. I felt like I had to keep my head on a swivel. Like within a second, I could be tied up again while he beat me. It wasn't excitement anymore,
It was fear...and I hated it.

He glanced over at the space between us and sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you Camilla," he said. I stared at the laces on my sneakers. "There was a time in my life when I believed that with no doubt in my mind." I said. He just nodded. "You said you wanted to talk, so talk." I said. He took a deep breath and began.

"Nothing I say or do could ever change what happened. What I did. I don't expect forgiveness or anything like it. But I want you to understand why I did it, ok?" he said. "Ok." I said. "Nathan had me under the Imperius Curse. Everything he ordered me to do, I had to do it. He knew I would never leave you on my own so he took care of it his way." he said. His words hit me like a ton of bricks. The Imperius Curse. How did I not realize it before? How did I not think of that before? I knew there was no way that was Draco and it wasn't. As he spoke and his words sunk in, I expected to feel this wave of relief. Like, it was all over. Draco and I could be together. I trusted him again. I felt safe with him again. But I didn't. I was still sitting across from him, flinching at even his smallest movements. And deep down, I knew why. I knew what I had to do.

Nathan was never going to stop. He was never going to stop torturing me. Or torturing Draco. He was going to invent new ways to tear us apart. He might hurt me one week and Draco the next. It will never end unless I end it. They say sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war. And that's what this is. I have to lose this battle to win the war. I have to say goodbye.

Otherwise we'll both lose everything.

"Do you understand now?" he asked. I simply nodded. "Can you say something Camilla? Please," he asked. I thought of what to say. "It wasn't me. I would have never done that to you. Ok? We can be together again, right?" he asked. I looked at him. I saw the tears in his eyes and felt my own tears hit my cheeks. "No." I said softly. "What?" he asked. "No." I repeated. "Camilla please. I know it might take time and it won't be the same but I love you. I love you and I know you love me. This doesn't have to be the end. I never meant to hurt you." he said. "I'm sorry Draco, but I can't do this anymore." I said. Tears hit his cheeks. "Please don't say that," he said quietly. I stood up and faced him and he looked up at me.

"Draco, listen to me. I have been scared of the world for as long as I can remember. I was scared of my father, the death eaters, Nathan, Blaise, those Hufflepuffs, everyone. Then I met you. You made me feel safe. Truly safe. When I was with you, I didn't have to be scared. You were the one person I thought would never hurt me. But that was then and this is now. And if we stay together, it will happen again. Nathan won't give up." I said. "We shouldn't give up either." he said. "I'm sorry Draco. I just don't want to be afraid anymore." I said. He stared at me as tears fell down his face. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you," he said. "I know." I replied. "Do you- do you still love me?" he asked. I could see the scared little boy in his eyes. "Yes. Part of me does." I answered. He nodded. "Part of you loves Nathan too" he said. I nodded. "I'm so sorry" he spoke barely above a whisper. Then he stood up, wiped his eyes and walked away. Gone. Another love...gone.