Apologies is what I received the past couple of days that had gone by.
Did I accept them? No.
But what I did accept was that I wanted my friends back, and I've accepted that maybe- just maybe- they weren't keeping anything from me. That I was just letting things get to my head, and that I was overthinking situations that I didn't belong in. Maybe I was just paranoid, and maybe I was just trying to forgive something out that wasn't even there to begin with.
I think I've accepted the fact that I was letting a book, and my nightmares get to me.
But then it always led me back to thinking- if nightmares were nightmares, and Vampires were Vampires, why did Theodore and Cedric dying feel so real, and why are they still are alive if it was real? Why did I have an image of them dead in my mind, that seemed so real that it was almost unbelievable that it was a dream.
This is exactly what made my brain hurt.
The shower water ran down my body, and before I knew it, someone was knocking on my dorm door. I groaned in annoyance, grabbing a towel and turned off my shower water, securing the fluffy purple material around my body and walking out of my bathroom.
I was met with Maddie sitting on my bed, a worried look on her face.
If she sat there any longer- where I sleep- I'd just have to test out how hard my knuckles can hit her jaw.
She looked up at me, her eyebrows furrowing and she stood up when she saw me. "Delilah- nobody answered the door I just figured-."
"K."
Her face fell, I didn't care. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You act like you hate me now, did I do something?"
I wanted to yell at her, tell her that Draco was using her and that she deserved to be used because of how much of an attention whore she was- but luckily for her, I kept myself composed. "I was trying to shower-."
"See!" She shrieked, getting closer to me and I took a step back. I was not afraid to slap her. "You act like you fucking hate me with everything you have and I'm sick of it. I'm finally happy with Draco and I can't stand your sappy attitude-!"
"Don't bring Draco in this," I snapped back, tightening my towel on my body and growing closer to hitting her. "He didn't even tell you that he slept with me right before your date with him! He doesn't tell you that he's only with you for my 'protection' that I don't fucking need! Get it through your head, Maddie. And figure it out yourself because it's not really that hard."
She looked taken back by what I said, tears welling up in her eyes. I didn't care- I was the one he touched before he went with some other girl. He was supposed to be the guy who respected women no matter how many he slept with.
He was supposed to catch feelings for me too, and then he'd admit them to me. But that didn't happen, because I'm not living in a fairytale.
Her voice wavered, "Why didnt you tell me you liked him too? I would've-."
"Seriously?" I squinted my eyes, my face turning into a snarl. "You would've left him for me? That's bullshit. You like the fact that you got the 'one and only Draco Malfoy' to be with you. It wouldn't matter anyways, not get out of my dorm. I'm done with this conversation."
She sniffled, and walked out of my dorm, shutting the door shut behind her.
-
The library was comforting when nobody else was in here.
Right now, I was searching for books that I knew I shouldn't. Books about Vampires, and how they work- books that would help me try and figure out if I knew somebody that was one. More specifically, if Draco was.
I knew it crazy, I kept telling myself that there was no way he could be one but for some reason, it makes sense more than anything else that had been happening lately. He's always cold, he's a pale and the thing I've mostly noticed was that he hardly eats at our meals. The only thing I was uncertain of, is if I'd be scared or not. He's practically dead. I would've been hooking up with a dead person- although he's hot, that would still make me a little weirded out.
It was probably at least 9 at night, and when someone else entered the library I kind of ran to the next aisle because I saw that it was Ethan. I wondered if he knew anything- if he did, he was probably to dumb to even hide it.
Here's my chance.
"Ethan!" I whisper shouted to him, his head snapping to my direction and he started to come closer where I was. "Come sit with me."
He nodded, taking a seat at a circle table and propping his legs up. "Are you still mad at me? Cause if you are I'd like to leave, you can be a little snappy-."
"Ethan, shut up." I cut him off sharply, my leg bouncing up and down uncontrollably because of how anxious I was. If this went wrong, and he didn't give me any answers, then he'd eventually tell someone else I was looking for them. "I need to ask you a few questions."
He looked clueless, "Okay, shoot."
The table was cold when I set my elbows on them, looking at him straight in the eyes. "Draco, he's always cold, right?"
He let out a chuckle, "Yeah, the cheeky bloke-." He widened his eyes, suddenly getting out of his chair and looking at me with an expression of hurt. "Wait a damn minute, Delilah- you can't just ask random questions like that-."
"Seriously?" I got out of my chair too, my legs taking me a step towards him. I was only wearing a baggy sweater with some sweatpants, "You literally just gave me the answer, you can act like you don't always give into me. Just tell me what I want to know, Ethan."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Delilah, he's just cold blooded. That doesn't mean anything-."
"Yeah, well by the way your freaking out and telling me it doesn't mean anything, implies that you know it means something."
He scoffed, walking closer to me, his vanilla scent covering my senses. "You wanna know why I give into you?"
I was going to answer, but his hands were already on my waist, pulling me closer to collide our lips.
