Spare Heart

{1}

      Jade's POV  

      "Starting school tomorrow. Senior year. Woo," I fake cheered taking a sip of beer, the cold liquid gliding down my throat distracted me momentarily. "Best years of my life my ass," I scoffed staring at the grave as if it was going to speak back to me.

      "Everyone's going to be talking about you. I love you Chantelle, I really do. But I do not want to be talking about you twenty-four/seven. In fact I'd like to avoid all conversation about you unless I'm talking to you."

      "How am I going to survive without you?" My voice cracked but I refused to be weak in this moment so I swallowed the lump in my throat, wiping underneath my eyes to catch the tears that fell before I could hold them in. 

      I drank more of my beer, avoiding making eye contact with her grave. When I looked at her grave it was like I was looking at her, well the closest thing I could get to her. Although even when I wasn't looking at her grave it was like I could still feel her presence. Almost like she was still here. 

      I shook my head at my crazy thoughts. I truly was loosing it. 

      "Enough talking to you for today or else I really am going to go mental. I'll force Justin to come with me next time, how about that? He wants to come he's just a little...scared. He doesn't want to face the truth," I explained, picking at the grass beneath me.  

      "I don't think anyone wants to. But you're my best friend. I have to come here everyday because what else would I do. We both know I have no life without you. God you've only been gone a month and my life's been flipped upside down," I chuckled morbidly, sighing when no one replied back to me. 

      The trees had started to sway violently, clouds merging into a grey mass and the temperature dropped as whispers of cold slid across my skin; all a hint it was going to rain soon. "Remember don't drink and drive," I let out a little chuckle as I lifted my arm into the air, showcasing my sling. 

      "A little too late for that I guess. Love you Chantelle." I stood up, wiping off my jeans although I didn't care too much about the state of them. I ran my fingers over the engraved calligraphy, 'your song ended but your melody still lingers'.

      "I miss you C." I brought my index and middle fingers up to my lips before pressing them onto the headstone. 

      Sighing I walked out the graveyard, picking my options for where I could go. I wasn't particularly in the mood to go home right now, I would only be faced with pitiful glances. 

      I walked to the closest shop to me, which happened to be my local corner shop. I put my hood over me, wishing it would swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to face my shopkeeper. Where I was from everyone knew everyone. Which means everyone knew about Chantelle's death. 

      I strolled through the aisles acting as if I wasn't here for one thing. Finally walking up to the shopkeeper, I alerted him of my presence, "Hey Abdi. Just a bottle of Tito's."

      "You're nowhere near twenty-one Jade." He was looking at me like I was a kicked puppy and it was getting on my last nerve. My patience had begun to run thin nowadays. Guess I've got no one to balance me out like I used to. 

      "Goddammit Abdi!" I slammed my hand on the counter. "I need one thing and one thing now. I don't remember looking for your opinion. Now are you going to give me it or do I need to go somewhere else?" I tensed up once I realized the little outburst I just had. I crossed my arms in disdain, refusing to admit defeat even if I did just embarrass myself.