The Stars Will Catch Me

Chapter 33

"You're going to hell," I spit. 

"I'll make sure to have as much fun as I can while I'm here then." 

I want him far away from me. I want him as far away as humanly possible. 

"I won't talk." 

"You might not," he says, standing up from his squat, "but someone else will." 

He slithers over to the rectangular mirror hanging on the plain wall. Of course I knew it was a two way, I just didn't think anyone was behind it. He proves me wrong by talking into a radio he pulls out of his lab coat. The mirror changes into a transparent glass that reveals a figure standing on the other side. 

I didn't think I had it in me but I sit up. 

His eyes are wide and his skin is pale. I can see his fingers trembling at his sides though he's not in any physical danger himself. I assume he's been watching this whole time, that he watched me wither in pain and scream for hours. 

"Charlie has nothing to do with this." 

Nakpuna scratches his chin with a shrug. "I beg to differ. I don't buy the Romeo and Juliet love story. You didn't simply run away with one another. I searched for you two as thoroughly as possible, more thoroughly than any parent or guardian can and I did not find you." 

Charlie is speaking but I can't hear him. I think he's yelling because of the veins bulging from his neck and forehead. It's all wasted effort. 

"There are others that have escaped like you and I have this inkling that you know about that. You both do." 

I don't understand how he knows. I can't see how things fell apart so rapidly. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if Nakpuna could read minds. 

"He's your nephew." Appealing to his emotions is a hopeless idea considering he clearly doesn't have any but I am desperate. "He's family. Don't hurt him." 

He widens his eyes theatrically, soaking in the moment. "Oh no, I won't lay a finger on him but I have hurt you. I hypothesize that could be enough to get him to talk." 

Nakpuna turns to the glass, addressing Charlie. "It's up to you. Everyday on this ship could be torment for Dovie or you can tell me what's really going on." 

It's the train scenario all over again. I shouldn't but I expect him to make the better decision. I expect him to be stronger than I had been. 

Pull the lever. 

Don't choose me. 

Charlie's face contorts. His expression is apologetic in the truest form. His nostrils flare and he kicks back the desk chair at his side. I think he's upset because he's making the decision that hurts me. Relief floods my blood stream. 

Then he doesn't look at me. He refuses to meet my eyes. 

"Charlie . . ." I try to stand but I can't. I am literally on my knees. "Please don't tell. Please! If you care about me at all, don't tell." 

Again, it isn't easy to get the words out of my mouth. It would be simpler to let him save me. Yet, the faces of all the kids wandering out of their cells a few days ago, the faces of the boys and Willow on Neverland, Tina getting dragged back to her cell, the images are still fresh in my memory. 

If I need to suffer, let it be for a reason. 

Charlie glances up at me. I can't hear him but he mouths, "I'm sorry." 

+++

The days that follow are the worst days of my life. 

It's test after test. Everyday is a packed schedule of meeting with different researchers as they explore the limits of my powers and my body.

They place a giant cap on my head with a bunch of wires connected to it. It's to read my brain waves, they say. I'm instructed to move different objects in different patterns and for different amounts of time. They vary the wait of the object and don't listen to me when I say I'm tired. Instead, they take that as an opportunity to explore how functional my powers are when exhausted. 

I am watched nearly every second of the day. Even when they say they aren't or try to give the appearance they aren't, I know they are. There are too many two way glasses and mirrors. There are too many cameras everywhere. It's the zoo animal treatment. Or maybe the circus animal treatment. At least the zoo animals aren't harassed into doing things. All they have to do is be viewed in confined areas - not do tricks. 

It doesn't feel like my body is my own anymore and the more this goes on, the more I can sense myself disassociating. Nothing seems real. Everythings happening but I'm not a part of it. 

My 'abilities' as Nakpuna calls them is something I have never sat down to deal with. I've never had the time to think about how I feel about them. On Neverland, I might have thought they were cool. They were a magic trick or a fun secret. There was no one there who would exploit them and so, I didn't have to think about their implications. Being here, on this abomination of a research facility, has given me an entirely new perspective. 

With every ounce of my being, I hate being able to make things fly with my mind. I hate that Nakpuna changed me. I hate that he altered something as vital and inner as my very DNA. He did so without a care of what I thought simply because my parents, who should have no say in such things, allowed him to. All of this is far beyond my control and it stings because someone shouldn't have the ability to alter the very nature of my being. 

I hate being his lab monkey and that's what my powers make me. 

Sometimes I pass Tina in the halls as the guards swap us out for each other. I wonder how the researchers still have tests to do on her. They've had years and they haven't run out of experiments? Maybe that's a good thing because I don't know what they'd do to her if she became of no use to them. 

When she sees me, she makes it a point to shoot lasers at me with her stare. She seems to be the type to hold grudges against people and if that's true, she won't ever forgive me. I don't blame her. I take the mean stares with all my shame. 

The sliver of time I am not under a microscope, I am crying. I cry because everyone on Neverland must be disappointed in me. And to think of Aaron getting the phone call from the insider and hearing of how I failed . . . He probably regrets his decision of letting me go in his place. 

It wouldn't have made any difference. We both would go back with powers and if he was put in the same situation as I was, having Ruslan's life in his hands, he would have made the same decision. Aaron loves all of these forgotten kids too much to let even one of them die. 

Then there's the stress of Charlie telling Nakpuna about the insider and Neverland. If there's any word to describe Charlie, it's loyal. He doesn't stick close to many people but when he does, he's all in. He's like that with his aunt, taking on extra shifts to give her time off. He does it with his baseball team by playing pitcher even though he enjoys being batter more. He's willing to sacrifice for the ones he loves. My only hope is that he will sacrifice me for Neverland and not the other way around. 

I don't think I could ever forgive him if he didn't.

If you're name starts with a J and ends with an N and you aren't voting, you should be ashamed of yourself.