The Stars Will Catch Me

Chapter 24

My days on Neverland are numbered.

Aaron invites me to his room to let me know he told the insider it's me who's going back. He relays the exact number of days I have left until then and runs over the plan with me in extensive detail. The whole interaction is resemblant of a judge giving a criminal their sentence.

He shows no emotion, no hint of the boy who bared his soul to me after burying José or the boy who was thoughtful enough to hand pick me a bouquet of flowers. He is monotone, speaking of what we would do if things go wrong, all the million possibilities of how I could be harmed and the backup plans for them like it doesn't bother him. I keep searching his eyes but he won't hold my gaze. I keep wishing he'd grab my hand but he sits far from me.

The whole time he's talking I expect him to apologize for blowing this thing out of proportion. I expect him to realize I don't want to go back, that I'm terrified and have cried every night since declaring that as the plan. I expect him to see that he's only making this harder for me.

"That's about it," he says, twisting his ring around his finger. The skin below it is red and swollen. "Unless there's anything else you want to discuss."

I stare at him until he gets blurry.

He's not sorry?

This new dynamic between us sets off a chain of bizarre exchanges. Whenever we're in a room together, I can feel him watching me, yet, he won't come over. He skips checking in on Jimmy's room at night because he knows I'll be there wrapping up the end of a story. The one time he accidentally does, he stops at the doorway and nods at us like we're strangers he sees everyday on his way to work.

He's taken a new spot next to Shawn at breakfast which throws off the energy in the room. Aaron is too gleeful for Shawn in the morning which irritates Shawn. When Shawn gets grumpy, he picks fights and annoys the older boys. The older boys take out their frustration on the young ones and suddenly everyone is upset for the entire day.

Luka has taken to ignoring Aaron on my behalf, which is humorous, but does nothing except raise the level of tension on the island.

Shawn teaches me how to throw good punches and how to block my face in the afternoons. Then, how to kneecap and tackle someone. I can't imagine actually doing any of this to a researcher or guard but I don't tell him that. Instead, I follow along enthusiastically because what else am I supposed to do? Sit and wait to die?

He tries to be annoyed at my clumsy attempts at attacks but he isn't as good at hiding his emotions as his new friend Charlie is. Every single thought can be read off of his face. Those thoughts let me know he's proud of me when I successfully put one of the twins in a choke hold.

"Sorry, David," I say, releasing him from my grip. He stumbles back, giving me a grin that displays the missing baby tooth he lost when Shawn demonstrated on him.

"Again!" he exclaims.

"You heard the kid." Shawn places his hands on his hips. He's glinsing in sweat from the summer weather. "Try again and enjoy it because next up you'll have to try it on somebody your own size."

I'm up against Willow next. She has more weight on her but she fights so apologetically that when I finally get her pinned, I feel like I cheated.

"Willow, for real this time," Shawn says.

She gives me a pitying look. "But Dovie's leg is hurt."

"I can handle it." I dust myself off and take my stance.

I most definitely could not handle it. Willow leaves me eating dirt in her wake and I'm pretty sure she could tear a mountain lion in half if she wanted to. Shawn demotes me to fighting against Jimmy who gets a kick out of my total failure against Willow.