𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 | 𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

xiii

tw

talk of past suicide attempts including details, you've been warned.

-

Jade

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I wrapped my arms around his waist, scratching his lower back to calm him. Jaxon tensed when answering but slowly came at ease at my touch. I didn't know if he meant he lost them in literal terms or just their presence.

"We don't have to talk about it, only if you want to. It's amazing what you're doing for Tiana," I reassured him, leaning my head onto his chest as he wraps his arms around my neck. Jaxon started to play with the ends of my hair, resting his chin on the top of my head.

Jaxon's chest was heavy, his heart beating at a rapid pace. I scratched his back slowly, in an attempt to further calm him.

"We can talk about it," He spoke, and I was not going to deny his offer seeing that curiosity was seeping through me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, reassuring his answer as I lift my head from his chest to look up at him. He smiled down at me, pushing a piece of loose hair behind my ear, his eyes roaming my face.

"You're adorable," he chuckles, "and yes, beautiful I'm positive, now take a seat," Jaxon distanced himself, taking a seat at his desk. I lightly blushed at his compliments as I took a seat across from him.

"I just want to state something before I begin, what I'm about to tell you contains talk about suicide and depression. Do any of those topics make you uncomfortable?" Jaxon asked, cautiously.

"No, It doesn't bother me. Thank you for asking," I say, noting this talk was going to be more serious than I first thought.

"Tiana and I met the summer going into freshman year. She and her family had just come from Haiti, searching for more opportunities and such. Tiana moved across the street from me, but I hadn't noticed until she and I were walking home from the skate park, which is where we met. As we went through high school together I struggled with mental health, I didn't have a family who helped me with anything. They were verbally abusive, they never had hope in me for anything I was passionate about, they degraded me, just overall terrible people," Jaxon spoke with a clear and stern voice, he took a deep breath before continuing.

"Tiana and I by this time were very close, we knew everything about one another. There was never a day where we weren't together. She says that she knew that she wasn't into men when she didn't have feelings for me," he laughs, and I smile at him as he was thinking about moments he shared with someone he loved, especially since he didn't receive that from people that were his blood.

"One month, my life was at a very low point. As much as I loved Tiana, I was tired of everything, I was tired of myself. I no longer wanted to be on this shitty planet, rather somewhere else, or perhaps nowhere at all besides buried in the ground. I texted Tiana, a long message to her and her only. I wasn't going to spend my final time here writing for the terrible people I was forced to share a home with. Tiana was and is my only family. She called me immediately after reading the first line of the message, she continued and continued to call. After about ten calls, I answered. Hearing her cracked voice broke my heart, but I wasn't thinking about it clearly. I wasn't being selfish, because suicide isn't selfish, I was tired of the feelings I had fought against for years and I wanted it to end," Jaxon's body tensed, he inhaled a deep breath but this time it was shaky.