I'll Take Spades (Draft)

Chapter XXVI: House, Not Home

I swayed for a second before coming to my senses, I looked at where I was, I was home. There was a tall, dark haired woman standing at the front door, she ran to me and wrapped her arms around me. I twitched slightly. "Hey" she whispered, she let go of me and I saw the face of my aunt, Cassidy.

I liked aunt Cassidy but I didn't get to see her often because she was mums sister, and dad didn't like her. She looked at me, tears streaming down my face, but I wasn't crying. "What's wrong?" She asked worried, "you're home now" she bent down beside me, trying to get me to speak but my lips were sealed. I just kind of stared at her. "No" I whispered. I looked at the ground and back at Cassidy before I cracked.

I began to sob into my hands, my head spinning with thought. I saw Ace, screaming at me to come on, Miles, slamming Ace to the floor, Diana, shooting that woman in the house, and Hunter, laying still on the floor. My emotions swirled inside me, I felt everything, then nothing, nothing at all. I didn't understand, how did I get here in the first place? I can't have imagined it all, or else I'd have my brother standing by me. But it didn't make any sense, I watched as Aunt Cassidy thanked the officers, they said to call them if she needed anything.

She nodded and led me inside, "where's dad?" I asked, taking my hands off my face. "Inside" Cassidy replied she walked me through the front door and into the living room, there were 2 people there, my dad, and my uncle Terrie, Aunt Cassidy's husband.

My dad got up instantly, "hey" he said, tears had stained his tanned skin, he came up and hugged me, this wasnt one of his usual, half shouldered, goodbye hug, he was genuinlly worried. "Where's your brother? outside?" he whispered in my ear, not letting me go, I shook my head, tears flooding my eyes again. "What?" dad asked, there was a pang of fear in his voice and i was scared of the words i was about to say.

"Not here" i whispered, looking at my shoes. "what?" uncle terrie asked, "He's dead! okay! dead!" I was yelling now, i felt my knees buckle as i said this, i lent on the wall as i went down, i stared around the room, i didnt feel safe here, it was my house, but not my home. i curled up in my knees against the wall, grabbing my hair in my fists, i didnt know what else to do, i was scared, and for some reason, i felt endangered.

I sat, swaying against the wall for a moment before letting go of my head, i could feel the marks where my nails had dug into my scalp. "Come on sweetie" Cassidy said to me, "lets get you to bed, youll feel better in the morning, promise" she helped my up and i wiped away my tears for the 100th time.

She brought me up to my room and opened the door, it didnt seem the same, not without my brother, we had always shared a room, and enjoyed it too. i walked in and went straight to the window, "I'll... let you be" Cassidy said, she closed the door behind her, so at last i was alone again.

I laid down on my bed and cried, i cried for what seemed like hours, i screwed up my eyes and opened them again, expecting to simply wake up from a bad dream but no.

my eyes were stinging with tears, i took down the photo of my mother, my brother and i, and smashed it on the floor, i banged on the wall and yelled, but no one came, and nor did i want them too. i wanted to be here alone right now.