Y/N's Diary (AoT Boys x Reader)

25: The River (Armin x Reader)

We all became murderers the next day.

The MPs attacked us during the kidnapping scheme and Kenny the Ripper made an appearance. 

Many soldiers died, but worst of all... they saw through the disguises and the real Eren was actually taken this time. I never even got the chance to tell him that I loved him back.

And now I don't know if I ever will...

A certain someone knew just how to make me feel better though...

Eventually the squad found an old, large shack in a rural area within Wall Rose. The shack was surrounded by trees and a few hundred yards over there was a river. On the way there, no one spoke.

Upon opening the large wooden door, they heard a scurry of mice and rats flee for them. Levi let out a notable sigh as he entered. Inside the shack were a few shabby, dusty wooden bunk beds in the corners, some empty crates, and many bales of hay. The wooden beams that supported the roof were covered in cobwebs, and there seemed to a be a bird's nest in the far corner.

"I think it's safe to say the place is deserted. You can take off your gear now," Levi spoke to the group. He still had half his face covered in smudges of dried blood. The squad obliged silently.

"Jean... There's something I don't understand," Armin eventually spoke, his eyes narrowed and frustrated. Jean turned to face him. "When I turned around and tried to save you, that woman already had a gun to your head. How could I have shot first?"

Jean looked down, trembling slightly. "I don't know..."

"You shot first because she hesitated," Levi spoke resolutely. "It's simple."

Armin looked up. "I figured as much."

"I'm sorry, Armin. You wouldn't have had to save me if I'd just done my job," Jean apologized.

"That's right," Armin replied, looking unfocused and ruthless again. "Maybe you think you're a better person than me. No... you must be. I pulled that trigger so easily without a thought. I'm-,"

"A killer," Levi finished for him. That shook the rest awake too.

(y/n) tossed her sandwich to the ground, instantly standing to her feet. "Way to be sensitive about it."

Everyone now looked at (y/n).

Levi shrugged. "It's important that he knows."

"(y/n)..." Armin was moved by her standing up for him.

"You know what? I'm a killer too," (y/n) continued to speak. "I killed when I was 10 years old, and I did it again today. My hands have been soaked in blood. The person I once was is gone for good."

"Why would you say that!" Mikasa interjected.

(y/n) ignored her and looked directly at Armin. "So... unless you think I'm worse than you, you're NOT a bad person."

Armin was at a loss for words.

"And you shouldn't regret it for one moment," (y/n) spoke louder. "Armin, if you'd chosen to keep your hands clean, Jean would be a corpse on a cart right now." Jean cringed at the idea of that. "I'll tell you why you pulled the trigger. It was because your comrade was about to die. Everyone in our squad survived today, because you, Levi and I got blood on our hands. Nobody here has the right to judge you. In fact, we thank you."

It was silent for a moment. Armin's heart became full by every word spoken by (y/n). He appreciated her so goddamned much. He truly couldn't see how he would have rationalized this without her support. This is why I love you so much.