if i die tomorrow - permanent hiatus

wisdom

A/N: Dang. 17 chapters already. The main story didn't even start yet XD

     The waning moonlight scattered into flickering wisps of dancing silver around my feet as I left the stable, alone. Epona deserved a break from all the things I had put her through.

     Besides, I didn't know if I could assure her safety, where I was going. I didn't even know if I would return to her alive.

     I sighed into the chilly night and wrapped my hood tighter around myself.

     I knew Sorrah was watching me leave, her intense eyes trained on my back. I smiled to myself as I sidestepped into a stretch of woods near the stable, making it look as though I was taking the path away from the Stable, disappearing into the embrace of midnight shadows.

     I did not trust this girl. For all I knew, she could have been trying to stall me further by sending me onto a false trail, chasing nothing but desperate dreams.

     But why would she do that, if that was what she truly did?

     Because she wanted to protect her sister.

     How did she know of my quest, then? How did she know that I was after her sister and hid her before I arrived at the stable? How did she know that I was underneath a looming deadline, hanging over my head like a blade dangling on a fracturing thread?

     Frustration bubbled up in my throat, hot and bitter like bile. I swallowed it and bent my stiff body to sit on the knobbly, gnarled roots of a colossal tree, reaching its branches high to tickle the infinitely navy blue sky, to harvest the very stars.

     I leaned my head on the sturdy trunk and raised my eyes skyward. 

     Before I could pull myself back, I was already too far gone into sleep, my mind clouded by sheer exhastion.

     I was walking slowly through Hateno Village, trying not to trip on the children racing each other underfoot. Chatter rose into the brilliant afternoon sky. For once, I was at peace along with the world. 

     "Look! There he is!"

     Suddenly everybody froze. Then, they slowly turned around, their faces hitting the sunlight and throwing them into sharp relief.

     My breath snagged in my throat.

     The villagers' faces split into identical grins.

     "Welcome, welcome! Our hero! You have saved us!"

     I backed away, my breathing coming sharp and fast.

     Black scribbles crossed out their eyes, all of the people that greeted me with such warmth in their voices. Although they were still going about their daily lives as though nothing had ever happened, as though a black mass of shadows didn't mask their eyes, they were, every single one of them, dressed in mortal wounds.

     The little boy running up to me was missing an arm, blood sluggishly seeping out of the clean stump.

     The mother with a basket under her arm had a hole burnt through her chest even as she chatted animatedly with another woman, half of her face seared away.

     "Our savior." Their adoring voices rose and rose, until the volume and the intensity of their shouts were only just short of a battle cry. Terrified, I backed away slowly as they closed in, their arms reaching, groping for me, their faces fixed in a wooden grin.

     No! Eyes... Blood... Death...

     I choked on my own fear and my spine hit the wall. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. It was a part of me, entwined so tightly into my spirit I could hardly breathe. I could never outrun myself.

     My eyes snapped open and I sat up, startled. The sky was the rose pink of dawn, streaks of red swathed at the horizon line. 

     I cursed myself, pushing down the dream back into the cage where I kept all of my horror. I had fallen asleep. That was another few hours wasted.

     And I had gotten nowhere into cracking this mystery.

     I flipped on my hood, the shadows it cast muffling my features. I had to sneak back to the stable. If Sadie was there, thinking I was already a long way away, then Sorrah had simply lied and I had to figure out why, how she had known so much that I fought so hard to keep hidden. If she wasn't, then it complicated everything even further.

     Sighing, I rubbed at my jawline, stretching out my burning muscles. 

     I crept slowly across the perimeter of the stable, my eyes peeled for a flash of chestnut, a glimmer of brown skirts swishing across the floor.

     Nothing.

     Nothing!

     I turned slowly away from the stirring stable, my hands shaking slightly.

     Even without stepping into the stable, even without looking too far into the throng of people slowly waking up into a new day, I knew she wasn't there. I felt no tug, nothing that I knew I was supposed to feel when she was nearby, living, breathing, laughing, just being.

     I wiped my eyes of nonexistent tears and took a breath, steadying my cracking resolve.

     Huh.

     Sorrah had not lied. 

     Sadie did leave the stable. 

     I wiped my clammy hands on my trousers and slowly let go of a breath.

     Why? Why did Zelda discard me like this? Why would she try to run away? Why, why, why?

     Hopelessly lost. Wanting. Craving. Needing. The lone light in my world flickering, dying, crushed by the darkness. Cold. Achingly cold.

     I leaned heavily on a tree, reassuringly firm, real, beneath my skin, one point of steadiness in an ocean of tumult, tilting beneath my feet.

     I vowed there and then that I would find her. No matter how far she had run, how completely she had hid herself from me, I would find her. 

     And I would never let go again.

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND yet another chapter without introducing Sadie into this messy plot. I was wholly expecting to introduce her this one, but for some reason, I felt it sufficient to end it here. 

I definitely will introduce her after the next chapter, I promise. 

And for all of you that are reading this as I update, do you want to see him search for her, or should I skim over it and skip directly to Sadie's introduction? I'm leaning towards the latter, but please let me know what you think <3

Peace!