Is it really worth it?

"you look familiar."

Once Maya arrived in her room she let herself fall heavily onto the large bed, placed in the middle of the room. Until now she hadn't realized how tired she actually was. And how weak her muscles felt. So she laid on the bed with half her body, her feet still being on the floor. She watched as her chest rose and fell in a perfect and slow rhythm. Her eyes felt heavier with each passing minute but she wouldn't let herself rest. How can one rest when there are still so many thoughts to think? Pictures of Carina flashed through her mind. And her body yearned for the familiar touch she had only been deprived of for a short amount of time. Still, it is all she craved. Thoughts about the treatment arose in her head. This was getting real. Now she had no way out.

A short knock on the door woke Maya. She had no idea when she fell asleep but apparently, she did. Her makeup was completely smudged and her t-shirt crinkled. "Miss Bishop, Uhm, it would be time for your first check-in session." Her eyes widened with a look at the brown clock hanging from the wall. It was 1 pm. She slept through the entire night. The voice was damp indicating that the voice came from behind the door. Her head was thumping. She had to squeeze her eyes tightly together so the sun wouldn't interrupt her yet very weak vision. "I'm cominggg" her mouth was dry and it felt like she hasn't had water in ages. She pulled herself out of bed. Even though it took all her energy. She felt the way one feels with a massive hangover. The door screeched while Maya was opening it. In desperation and a time of about 3 seconds, she tried fixing her messy hair. A crooked smile also on her lips. "Hey, captain Bishop. Be downstairs in ten minutes. Your therapist will be waiting."  The woman turned around and her brown hair flew into Maya's face. She already hated her. Stupid nurse in her stupid pastel scrubs.

10 minutes later Maya found herself seated in a couch chair with a dark-haired woman in a white cote staring at her. She had introduced herself as "Doctor Wright" and now had a stern look upon her face with no emotion visible at all. Silence was filling the room more than anything else. No pictures, no Inspirational quotes, no "it's gonna be fine" look on her face. This office was nothing like she'd imagined a therapy room to look like. "So," the lady finally broke the silence. "We are not going to get into "heavy things" today. I'm just introducing you to our clinic and giving you your therapy plan."

The clinic was big and had the pastel colors, which she already saw on the scrubs, everywhere. The walls had paintings and all the stuff she had imagined, not like doctor Wright's office. She was still shocked with the thought of having her as a therapist. Still, she tried to be open-minded and not assume the worst. Which she normally always did. She was shown the group therapy room, the dining room (which she already hated), the painting studio, and loads of other tiny rooms with overwhelming stations. It kind of lived up to her expectations. Not entirely though. The pastel colors or the rigorous therapist hadn't been a figment of her imagination. She most certainly did not expect to miss Carina this much already but of course, she did.

The tour was finally over and she was able to stay in her room again. Alone. On her hospital tour, other people joined in. She knew they were going to be there but she had been in denial of it. People are exhausting. Especially if they aren't Carina. The suitcase was standing in the middle of the room and Maya decided to move the clothes into the closet. Since she knew they were going to be there for a while. It was something she knew how to do without thinking twice and right now she needed that comfort of familiarity. So she slowly started unpacking her bag. Folding the clothes carefully and placing them gently into the dresser. She picked up a familiar jacked and remembered the events she had lived in it.

"You look familiar," the beautiful brunette said while looking into my eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about or why I seemed familiar so I  just assumed. "I drink here a lot," I responded sure I knew her from the bar. But she objected. "Uh no, were you at the hospital earlier." Still not sure I answered her question, stunned by her beauty. "Yeah, I was. I'm a firefighter. I was bringing something." My answer seemed to have given her an epiphany and she remembered and so did I. She introduced herself with a big smile on her face and something clicked. immediately.

Maya smiled at the memory. For her, it was still crazy how a meeting at a bar lead to someone so perfect. That memory was something she treasured more than almost any other memory. The start of something so magical. The day she met the love of her life. Happy tears filled her tired eyes. She hugged the jacket again. Soaking in the recollection of that day. How was she supposed to last at least 4 weeks without her when she can't even go through one day?