Is it really worth it?

"Just shut up and kiss me."

"I-" Carina's words didn't come out. Just a single syllable. Her eyes were still huge from the shock. Maya's hands were shaking like crazy she didn't have them under control in the slightest. "Maya Bishop? It's okay your wife checked you in. Just follow me." The voice came out of nowhere and both of them looked stunned. The silence was excruciating and all three of them were uncomfortable. The nurse who had just invaded their privacy was wearing pastel pink scrubs with blue flowers spread all over them. She didn't entirely get the situation until she noticed the black box placed between Maya's shaking fingers. "Oh my God, sorry I didn't mean to assume you guys just seemed married I just thought -. Did this just happen?" Her voice was lower-pitched than Maya expected just by seeing the scrubs. Maya's thoughts were still spinning and all she wanted was a simple response. The not knowing might have killed her. "Uhm-" Maya's head whirled up as soon as she heard Carina's voice. "I should come back later. Right?" The voice of the nurse appeared again but Maya toned it out. She was too busy staring straight into Carina's eyes. The nurse slowly took a few steps back. Maya could only see the soft pink color disappearing from the side of her vision. They were alone again

The silence laid all over them again. Neither would break it. Carina was looking back into the depths of the blue puddles of love. She didn't know how to react. Nothing seemed fair or right. Of course, she wanted to marry Maya but now? Why now? Her thought process continued and she realized how long Maya must have had the ring. How long she had thought about marriage. Why didn't she have those thoughts yet? Why did the possibility never even cross her mind? But she wanted this hell yes she wanted this. She couldn't help the smirk wandering onto her face with that thought. Maya's expression loosened. A deep breath was released by both of them. Neither had noticed the way they held it in.

"Yes. Yes, thousand times yes." A soft giggle filled the silence "I- sorry it took me this long to answer Bambina. Of course, yes." Even though that decision made her insanely happy there was this intruding thought. Is this the right decision?

Maya's jaw dropped and her heartbeat with happiness and excitement. This was real. She just got engaged. Her breaths started to come faster and until then she didn't notice her blue eyes fill with puddles of tears. "I'm sorry I know it came out of nowhere-" Maya started her rambling but was immediately stopped by Carina's soft mouth brushing over hers. She grabbed Maya's neck tightly, pulled away slightly so that she could look into Maya's eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me. And put that ring on my finger already." Maya's smile grew. Her hands reached for the ring while her eyes weren't moving, still fixating on Carina's brown eyes. She took Carina's hands and gradually put the ring over her finger. It looked perfect there. Like it belonged. Like it was meant to be there.

"Maybe we should go apologize to that poor nurse. She was a little stuck in the middle. And I should go in shouldn't I?" Maya asked with a half-smile half-frown on her face. She didn't want to leave even though she knew exactly that she had to. Without answering Carina grabbed Maya's suitcase and started walking closer toward the big building towering up in front of them. She didn't seem hasty but not calm either. They arrived at the entrance door. On it was a large sign which read.
"Only patients past these doors."
Carina turned again facing Maya straight forward. She looked like she was about to start a big speech but before she could start Maya stopped her. "It's okay. I'm going to be fine and  I know you'll be waiting for me when I'm back out. But text me okay and visit me on Sundays!" She had a melancholic smile forming over her red lips. Her heart sank a little when she looked back up and saw pools of tears filling Carina's vision. "It's okay honey I'll be back before you know it." With those words, she released her hands from Carina's, gave her a little kiss on the cheek, took the suitcase, and walked through the doors. She didn't turn back to see her fiance because she knew she couldn't bear the look in her eyes. This was it. This was the start of freedom. If she would let herself have it. If she would let herself recover. If she could let go.

Her heart started racing again and fear crept through her.
"You'll have smiles on your faces like crickets and stars in August..."
She tried singing the lullaby Carina used to sing for her. She learned it in Italian so she could sing it to Carina. Even though she didn't use that wisdom yet it felt good to have learned it.

*You're going to be just fine Maya. You can do this. Just keep going. Keep going for her. She is yours now. Keep it that way.*

A little smile managed to find its way back onto her lips at the thought of Carina actually being her fiance. She was ready. Ready to get better.