Trial of the Times

Chapter 3 - Goodbye - Rewritten

It's been bothering her, though she won't let her concern affect her work. Anakin usually let his emotions out around her since the Jedi won't listen to him. If he's not talking to her, then he's not talking to anyone, and the implications are disturbing, to say the least. As Padme prepares to sit down to her evening meal, she can't help but wonder about Anakin again. Where is he? What's happening to him? Is he alright?

Shaking her head, she leaves her bedroom and walks towards the dining room, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees Anakin standing in the doorway. He looks terrible, like he hasn't slept in days. But the expression in his eyes is worst of all. Padme stands frozen, staring at his emotionless eyes. He looks totally numb, but beneath his shield, she can almost feel a raging storm of pain and fear and anger. Oh, Ani!

"Ani," she exclaims rushing to him.

"Padme," he whispers, but even his voice sounds off. He's not acting right at all, and she can tell that depression doesn't even begin to cover how he feels. She can't really relate. She's never lost a parent, and Anakin – he's just so different from everyone else. He needs people; he can't bear to lose them. This – Obi-Wan's death – it's destroying him, and she doesn't want to consider what might happen if she can't help him. But does he even want her help? Or anyone's?

She throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly, "I was so worried about you," she murmurs, holding him.

He wraps his arms around her, but his actions seem almost robotic. He's closed himself off from everything, and she's terrified she won't be able to reach him. "I'm fine, Angel," he replies, resting his head on hers. And that, is a lie. He's not fine. Not at all.

"No, Ani, you're not fine. No one would be," she replies firmly. When he doesn't answer, Padme steps back, looking up at him with her dark brown eyes.

"Will you stay?" she asks hopefully.

He just looks at her, his eyes dead, before shaking his head, "I can't."

"Have you eaten anything yet?" she pushes, and he just stops. For a moment, he almost seems surprised. Not that she asked, but that he'd never thought about it. Oh no. That's not good. If he's not even eating, then he's worse than she'd realized.

"I ate," he answers vaguely.

"When?" she demands, frowning at him, "You can't neglect yourself, and you need to eat unless you want to end up collapsing from exhaustion."

"I don't know," he replies slowly his voice distant. She narrows her eyes, studying his expression. He looks exhausted. Has he even slept at all?

"Have you even slept recently?" she challenges.

He shifts uncomfortably under her scrutiny, not meeting her gaze, his eyes focusing on something only he can see. "Can't sleep," he finally mutters, probably guessing correctly that she won't let him get away with not answering her question.

A wave of sympathy floods her, and she reaches up to touch his cheek with her hand. "You can't go on like this, Ani. I know it's not what Obi-Wan would want you to do," she whispers gently.

He flinches away from her, turning his back on her and stepping to the window. His breathing is irregular, and he finally runs a hand through his hair. "I can't stay," he says, his voice strained, "I need to get away. I – I need to be alone. Just for a bit."

Anakin turns back, meeting her eyes, his expression tormented. "There's something I need to do, Padme, and I – I need to –" he pauses, looking away, "I need to fake my death."

"What?" she cries, staring at him in shock, "Anakin, you can hardly take care of yourself right now. You can't just leave."

"It's what I have to do," he repeats, and she can see a faint determination in his eyes.