Alexis' Diary (Tom Hiddleston fanfic/romance story)

23/04/2001 Monday

⚠A/N: Only this chapter, then we finally get to see the board meeting. Warning: severe anxiety attack and mentions of self harm.⚠

"So, it's only a week until the meeting, how are you feeling?" Tom asked me as we walked to Williams' lecture room.

"I'm scared, I know there's no backing out no but there's still a part of me that thinks I'm making a dreadful decision," I explained to him unhappily. Tom squeezes my hand and looks at me with a calming, but neutral tone.

"You're so brave Lex, I know you're scared about all of this, but you aren't making any bad choices, you know what I said to you the last time we talked about this-"

"You'll support me 100%," I replied.

"No 110%." Tom beamed.

"That's impossible, but I know you'll be there, you have to be. I'm just still concerned that it'll fall flat, and we'll have to sit in that room," I pointed to the door we were about to enter, "for the next 2 years with her scowling at me because I almost got her fired. I don't want to feel like I have for the past 3 years again, I, oh fuck why am I saying this now!" I almost shouted, but I didn't want to get found by Williams and punished because of it. My eyes welled up with tears.

I thought you came off your period, don't get over emotional I hate it when you do that. It's so annoying watching you cry.

Tom hung on every word I said, and quickly enveloped me into a hug as soon as he saw the tears in my eyes.

"It's okay, I'll be with you, so you'll always have someone to go to, and Stephanie, Rich, and Scarlett." Tom reminded. He swayed us both from side to side, "we better head in, don't want to get in trouble... again."

"For no reason," I added.

"Yes."

We walked in the lecture room, and instantly got a scowl from Williams, I dipped my head and moved to my seat as quietly as possible. Tom and I sat together, but Williams didn't stay away for long.

"Did you two do the work I set you?" She asked with a scowl and a viscous tone. I nodded and picked up the paper I did, while Tom did the same thing. We both passed her the papers, but she still didn't seem pleased.

"Well it's good to know that you two do more than your disgusting displays in my class." She remarked as she left us, but we could both hear clearly what she was saying. I could see Tom getting visibly upset with what she said, but I kept squeezing his hand, so he stayed in his seat. My heart beat sped up like normal, so I started to feel a little sick as I couldn't calm myself down, Tom saw and turned to me, resting his spare hand on my shoulder.

"Are you alright? Remember love, just breathe, she won't hurt you for much longer, I promise."

"Mr Hiddleston, please leave your girlfriend alone while I'm trying to teach you something. You have time out of my lessons for that."

My breathing increased again, and I started to feel really shaky, the sick feeling in my stomach made it worse too.

"She's having an anxiety attack Professor; she needs to stand outside the room with me to calm down." Tom quipped back.

"No she doesn't, she's absolutely fine, she's overreacting. You are banned from leaving my lesson until I say so."

I took a glance around the room, stupidly, and saw everyone looking at me. I felt dizzy as words filled my head.

Loser, pathetic, mistake, you don't deserve happiness Lex. I don't know why you're like this, you should just stay quiet and none of this would happen.