saudade
/souˈdädə/
noun
a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; the love that remains
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this is a sequel to "trouvaille" the description contain...
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ANNAGRACE REID
i let out a sigh as i watched the tv. it's nearing ten pm. i couldn't sleep, so i had turned on haikyu.
i reached my hands up to run them down my face.
some cuddles would be nice as hell right now.
i honestly don't know when the last time i got cuddles was. well, if you count cuddling with ariel, then i get cuddles at least once a week. but besides her, i don't know.
it was honestly probably when me and billie were dating.
my phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. my brows furrowed as i picked it up to see that it was jessie calling. she has my number just incase she needs to reschedule her session for that week or something, but she usually just texts me.
it's also late as hell for her to be calling.
"hello?" i answered.
"hey. i'm sorry if i woke you up or something, but— i dunno. this is probably weird that i'm calling you right now. i just— fuck, i don't know." she spoke. her breaths were shaky.
"are you okay?" i asked softly.
"no, i-i'm not," she told me. "i just relapsed and i just— i feel so fucking stupid."
"hey, calm down, alright?" i tried to calm her down. "you're not stupid, jj."
"i am though. i was stupid to think that i could actually stop vaping," she took another shaky breath. "yeah, i stopped for almost three weeks, but now i fucking relapsed! that's— fuck, bro."
"jessie, you're not stupid," i told her again. "everything's okay. it's alright that you relapsed; it happens. you can try again."
"i don't want to try again!" she exasperated. "it's so fucking hard, and i hate it."
i heard her sniffle. "dude, i don't think i can be alone right now. i don't trust myself. i-i'm sorry if i'm keeping you up, but i can't—"
"do you need me to come over?" i questioned softly as i cut her off.
"yes, please." she whimpered.
she told me where she lived and my eyes widened. "you literally live in the same apartment building as me. i'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"
"please don't hang up." she requested.
"i won't." i assured her as i pulled on a pair of shoes.
i continued to talk to her and tried to calm her down as i made my way to her apartment, but nothing seemed to work. within just a few minutes, i was there. she opened the door and looked up at me.
