Little Black Dress (NIALL HORAN)

Week One

I never thought hell could be this cold. My whole body is numb even my reflexes won't cooperate. The pain I feel in my head, the burning sensation of my eyes, the feeling of the broken pieces of my heart. I wanted nothing but to end this life. The darkness of my room, seeing nothing makes me believe that I'm dead. Infact I already died, dead right after I decided to leave Megan. I'm not a coward, I fought. I fought for her, keep my promise to protect her, save her and me leaving, staying away is what she needs. Its a suicide mission for me knowing the further I stay away from Megan the lesser life I bring.

The day after Stacy went to George's office is the beginning of the war. My war. Megan received a warrant coming from Stacy's lawyer for a case I know she didn't do. She got expelled from school, her face is all over the tabloid. The pictures of her came out but its not the same pictures Jake showed me, its photoshopped. Naked pictures of Megan were roaming around. Things have gone from worse to worst and there is no way out. She just found out about her father which she didn't take in easily and with Stacy, she almost gave up. It pains me to see Megan crushed and its even painful to know that I am part of whats destroying her. Now its been a week since I left, this hotel room has been sheltering me from hearing what's happening outside. This is why Megan used to play loud music around her to be deaf, she chose not to hear the people around her. I taught her to listen and now I need that music, I need to be deaf. If I listen I'll give in and problems will win. I said I'd help God catch Megan's trials and this is me doing it. Taking part of the catching.

I'm sure that Megan is hurt coz I left but I know that if she's not with me the issue will simmer down coz its me who brings the press, One Direction made the things happening to her the talk of the town and the only solution is for me, Naill Horan to take showbusiness away from Megan. Take Megan away from the world I'm in.

My phone is like an alarm clock, beeping and ringing every now and then. They must be worried about me but I'm not sure what I'll do if I talk to one of them. I'm not sure if I hear something about Megan I'll be able to stay away. So I decided to answer none of it. I just left this bed if I have to use the bathroom and drink. Food? that didn't even cross my mind. Surprising right? Well all the things have been full of surprises lately.

I never thought in such a short period of time I'll be able to grow such maturity. I didn't think of myself first, its always Megan's welfare I'm after. I just hope she sees it, I hope that she will not think of this as me trying to escape from all her problems but its me trying to help her solve it. I love her more than anything I could even think about. I'm not sure if One Direction will still be there after I get out of this room but I don't care. Its not the band I want to wait for me, its Megan.

But now I have to savour hell, lets see where this broken heart will bring me. Sometimes I wish that all of this is just a dream and tomorrow I will wake up with Megan nuzzled in my chest. That is why I sleep atleast for a moment I can forget all of this and live in a dream where I can be with my girl.