SAUDADE // B.E

𝐈

ANNAGRACE REID

"and you're coming here to get better, yes?" i asked.

"yeah, well, you see... i've been raw-dogging my way through life; no medication, no help, nothing. you know?" she gave me a look. "so, i think it's time i finally put the condom on and get some help."

i blinked at her a few times before writing something down. "right... well, i think that concludes our session for today, jessie."

"oh, for real?" she raised a brow.

"yeah." i nodded.

"damn. well, i'll see you next week then, dr. reid." she said as she stood up.

"of course."

i escorted her out of my office. i watched as she walked off, running a hand through her curly hair.

she's lowkey kinda fine.

it's not like i can pursue her though; she's my client, so that would be unethical. not to mention, i could get fired for it.

though, we're only on our second session, so maybe she'd be willing to switch to someone else in the building?

lemme stop.

i couldn't be in a relationship right now anyways. billie ruined that option for me.

it's been three years since that day she told me she cheated on me.

i cried every day for at least two months after that.

i really loved billie. hell, to be honest, i still do. she was unlike anybody else i had met, and every moment we spent together was pure bliss.

then she ruined that by cheating on me.

and with que of all people? fuck outta here.

can't believe i got cheated on with a man. that's so fucking embarrassing.

she ruined me. i haven't even been able to think about getting into another relationship since then. i'm too scared to. i don't wanna get hurt again.

of course, i've had countless hookups in the meantime. they were meaningless though.

anyways, speaking of billie, her music finally got big. she's practically everywhere you go. she just played at coachella a few weeks ago, and she released an album back in march. i haven't listened to it though; i really haven't listened to any of her music, actually. i just don't think i'll be able to.