When You're Broken On The Ground

Chapter 64

Trigger Warnings: mention of hookers, swearing, the dark sides being chaotic for 1,000 words

Word Count: 1063

"You absolute bastards!" Virgil yells over the phone two hours after they parted ways. Janus sets down his nail file, deciding that his nails are up to his standard, and turns to look at his darling, who's giggling with a big grin on his face. Remus looks especially pleased with himself, which makes sense considering it was his idea after all.

"Why Virgil dear, I have no idea to what you're referring to," Janus purrs, placing his phone, on speaker, in the middle of the counter so Remus' voice picks up from where he's working on some non-bake dessert he decided to try out.

"Asking me to walk both you idiots down the aisle through a sticky note shoved into my new boots is the worst way to ask, assholes!" Virgil answers with a snarl.

"Is that a no?" Remus asks, shoulders slumping as his smile slides off his face. Janus had hoped Virgil would yes, because they had been hoping to subvert certain traditions in their wedding, but if he refuses...

Virgil huffs, which out of the speaker more like static than anything. "Of course not. You're basically my brothers, why wouldn't I say yes? Besides, Roman'll be pissed I got to walk you down instead of him which is enough of a reason for me."

Janus laughs as Remus cheers, throwing some of the mixture on his spatula onto their ceiling in his excitement. He glances over at Janus, a guilty smile creeping in, but Janus just shakes his head with a smile and moves to grab some paper towels. "Thanks Scarebear!!" Remus says, bending down and letting Janus get on his shoulders to reach the ceiling and wipe the mix off.

"Yes, thank you Vee," Janus echoes, making sure to get all the mix off.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. How's it gonna work though?" Virgil asks, changing topics as Remus takes the dirty paper towels from Janus and throws them away before letting him off. "I mean, am I supposed to just walk one of you up, then turn around and walk the other up?"

"No, we considered it but frankly that's too unprofessional for me," Janus replies, "too choppy. We were thinking that you'd literally walk us up at the same time, if you don't mind."

"Just imagine, one of us on each of your arms, like those trashy guys with a hooker on each arm! But ya know, at a wedding!" Remus chimes in, grinning as he goes back to his mix. Janus sighs happily, leaning back against the wall as he sits on the counter. Virgil's habit of sitting on anything that isn't meant to be sat on rubbed off on the two a long time ago, though Remus probably never sat in a proper chair before he met Virgil.

"Please never compare me walking my brothers up the aisle to men with hookers, ever," Virgil complains. "I will never live down our college years, at least let me pretend to not remember, please."

"Oh is Virgie remembering the great Hooker Halloween of Sophomore Year?!" Remus crows, shimming his hips, which Janus denies smirking at. Though, seeing his boyfriend in more fishnet than fabric will forever be etched into his memory and he hopes to any non-existent god out there that it never will fade. And that he will admit to if asked.

Virgil groans over the phone. "Do you mean that time we dressed up as slutty as possible and then met up with the others, only to find them in like, the most conserative costumes they could own?" Janus snickers, remembering that moment. He had gone for a slutty school girl look, which definitely wasn't the cause of Remus' nose bleed that night, while Virgil went for the solid fabric punk look, a tiny plaid skirt and metal studs all over. Remus, bless his chaotic mind forever and ever, went with the sheer cloth punk, all mesh and fishnets and studs and fucking pirecings-

Janus clears his throat, trying to drag his head out of the gutter. "Yes, I do believe he means that Halloween. I distinctly remember your husband drooling when he opened the door." Roman had dressed up as a mummy, covered head to toe in wrappings. Patton has gone, adorably, as Scobby Do, and Logan as Doctor Frankestein. "And I do believe Patton screamed." And Logan had blushed the deepest red he's ever seen on a person, but to be fair Remus had been twerking in the hallway at the time, so he doesn't bring it up. Emile and Remy hadn't arrived until later, but Emile had dressed up as Rose Quartz and somehow gotten Remy to dress as Pearl. It was sickening how cute those two were back then.

Remus and Virgil laugh. "I remember that," Virgil muses. "He refused to look us in the eyes for the next week."

"Logay almost fainted," Remus mutters, pouring the mixture into a pan. "I mean, I know I'm that hot, but I was kinda worried about the guy for a hot stab."

"The best part was probably when Emile and Remy got there and Emile literally squeaked but Remy just whistled and smirked at us over his pumpkin spiced seasonal depression cup."

"Ah, the good old memories," Janus sighs. "Think we could pull it off again this year?"

Remus drops his spatula and Virgil hums in thought. "I know I can still pull off that skirt, and with some new heels I think it'd be even better," he muses. "Snake Face? Rat King?"

"Oh I definitely can still off a skirt," Janus smirks at Remus, who's fanning his face, probably trying to keep his blood flow down or something. "I know I'll change up my look a bit, but I'll be ready by Halloween. Remus darling?"

"Yep! Can do!" Remus chokes out, pressing ice to his nose. " 'm not hav'in a nose blood."

"Yeah, sure, and I'm straight," Virgil quips. "I'll see you guys Wednesday night for more details; Remus, you need to work up a fucking tolerance or some shit because if we're doing Hooker Halloween I will not have you bleeding out before we even show the others and re-traumatize them."

"S' fine," Remus protests weakly.

Janus laughs. "Thank you spiderling, we'll talk soon."