Man of the Match | DaiSuga

Chapter 34

Sugawara POV :

After the day in Tokyo, Daichi had said there was one thing we needed to do and as I stood at the top of the sky-tree looking out over Tokyo's lights as people were beginning to get back into their houses towards the end of the day I could see why he wanted to do this. The sun cast a deep orange glow across the sky and the buildings had their lights turning on as the night was soon going to set in. It was beautiful - I looked across to Daichi who was looking out in awe. The orange glow illuminated him perfectly as his eyes shone with wonder at the city below him.

He had a grin on his face as he seemed to absorb the lights of the city. It was my turn to sneak a picture with the disposable camera, snap, perfect. He looked handsome, he was glowing emitting light and I was like a moth to the flame. "It's so beautiful." He breathed out, he was smiling content as he pulled out his phone to take pictures. "The twins would love this." He smiled taking photos to show his sisters before he switched his phone to front camera and pulled me closer. 

"I thought we were only using the disposable camera." I joked as he looked at me and then back to the phone screen.

"Well, I want this one to actually be quality." He joked back before snapping a picture of us both. We looked cute, almost as if we could be a couple. A couple having a date up sky tree, window shopping for whichever expensive looking building they would work at or live in one day.  The thought made me blush pink as I looked back across at my crush. It felt too real to just be something I was imagining, I'm head over heels for him and he is right there, as we are both stood overlooking Tokyo. Moments like this are rare and I don't want to lose this, I want to hold onto this precious moment - mentally adding it to my snapshots of how perfect he seemed, how sweet he had been all day. 

He turned to look at me and I couldn't even pretend to look away, I was awestruck. He smiled a little awkwardly as he looked me over as I just continued to watch him. Our eyes locked and he began to lean a little closer. Is this happening? No surely not. No this can't happen - he's my best friend. Despite my logical thoughts yelling at me to not fall for this trap. Screaming for me to run, to turn away, don't make it weird. I began to lean in too, looking between his deep hazel eyes and back to his lips. 

Koshi stop it! He is your best friend, your captain, your mate of two years are you willing to ruin the friendship for the sake of this? After everything that has happened in the past week this cannot continue. This is only happening from emotional tension - nothing more. There is no reciprocated feelings stop it! 

The mental protest continued but it didn't stop us connecting our lips. He wrapped a hand around my waist as his other reached to cup my cheek. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and my heart melt into the moment. The world seemed to stand still as I pressed my hand against his chest - I could feel his heart beat thudding against his ribs. The kiss can't have lasted more than a couple of seconds, ten seconds at most, but it felt like the world around me had crumbled in the best way possible. 

He pulled away resting his forehead on mine, his eyes remaining closed. My hand hadn't left his chest and I felt his heart rate increase further, no longer passionate but panicked. He was holding his breath, his eyelids no longer relaxed but clenched shut. His hands fell from where they held me as he stood up straight, his touch finally leaving me. Leaving me cold. Leaving me scared. Leaving me back in reality - no longer our shared escape but the real world. 

I was stood, his eyes still closed, his hands now shoved deep into his pockets, I could see his chest heavily rising and falling. "Dai?" I asked quietly, not sure if I should approach him or not. Was it panic, terror, fear? What happened and why was he trying to shut everyone out again? After his day of vulnerability why is he relapsing into his enclosed fortress? The logic thoughts returned, their pessimism unwelcome.

See! SEE! He doesn't feel like you do, you just threw away all the normality you knew. You cannot forget that happened and now it's going to haunt you. He is straight and you kissed him, your best friend.

The silence from before was back, heavy and suffocating as I watched Daichi try and force his emotional state into check before me. "W-we need to..." He let out a long breath as if trying to shake off the anxiety. "We need to go home." He finally opened his eyes but they fell on the ground refusing to look at me as he slowly turned to head down back to the streets of Tokyo. "I-I bought time allocated... time allocated tickets for the 8:06 train." He managed to choke out, his voice sounded strangled, as if anxiety had clenched his windpipe threatening to cut off all his air. I followed him in the heavy silence. 

I felt myself beginning to recoil into my mind, wanting to escape the shroud that had covered us. This was going to be a long train-ride home. How are we supposed to sit with each other for another two hours after that? How can I break the tensions? 

We boarded the train, both of us appearing to be battling our thoughts. I wish I could crawl into his mind, drag him from whatever negativity had its grip on him, whatever had dug their clutch into his mind. I wish I could rescue him from it, as if it was some beast and I was a knight ready to slay it. Sadly it isn't that simple as I sit opposite him watching as he just stares, not even bothering to put his headphones on. He was tuned out, no longer in the same reality as me, he was somewhere trapped in his own head battling something internal that I couldn't help with. 

I'm sorry I ruined everything Daichi. I'm sorry...