Man of the Match | DaiSuga

Chapter 18

Daichi POV :

After the argument, I was left stood there, watching Suga walk away. I felt my shoulders slump, my jaw was agape and the silence coming in the direction of the clubroom alerted me that I had an audience. "Go home everyone. We will pick up practice on Monday. Go home, get some rest and a good meal." I couldn't meet their gaze, I am supposed to be a Captain - the person holding the team together and instead I was stood her looking broken as my vice-captain walks away off the school grounds. 

I could have chased after him, I could have sprinted towards him, begged him to listen, forced him to. Instead I let him walk away and therefore all I could do was offer him space. I sighed walking up to the clubroom, still painfully aware that the eyes of the team were following me. The new first years looking confused, the second years that were here still looking a little in shock - and I was the last third year left. I couldn't even confide in one of my classmates as they'd both left me. Maybe I am the person that will end up alone? It was beginning to look that way.

I sighed getting changed and throwing my kit in its bag. "Hey you alright bro?" Tanaka asked, no one had really left yet all eyes were just watching me change. Gauging my reaction - I guess people are waiting for an explanation. I simply ignored Tanaka and continued to get my clothes on ready to walk home. "C'mon Daichi, we're your team we got your back." He tried prying, how has it come to this lunatic comforting me. 

"I'm alright guys, for real - we all just need to go home and rest. Any updates I will drop in the group-chat. I trust you and Ennoshita have got the first years added right?" I asked, was I avoiding the question - totally. However, if I had to answer the question right now I wasn't sure what I could and couldn't say or how I would control any of my emotions if I reopen the can so soon after it was filled. It wasn't even late, it was just trickling into the afternoon on a Saturday. What am I supposed to do with the rest of my day? I've never been alone like this. There has always been at least someone. 

I sighed to myself before grabbing my stuff and beginning to walk away. "Tanaka you hold onto the keys, I'm trusting you." I huffed as I walked off. Normally everyone would call at the shop for ice-cream or snack but I wasn't in the mood today. The second years can take care of socialising the first years, I need a coffee and cake... and maybe a friend. Pulling out my phone I began typing a  message to Asahi, we both established that I would attempt to talk to Suga today. I was greeted with missed messages from him, the screen name making me smile a little. 

4 new messages from Jesus

Jesus : Morning Daichi

Jesus : What's happening this evening in regards to the sleepover, it's my house this week right?

Jesus : How did the talk go? Will Suga be joining us.

I felt tears beginning to prick at the corner of my eyes again. Will Suga be joining us... I doubt that. I wasn't sure if Suga would join us again, am I even in the mood to go if Suga isn't there. It won't be the doofus trio if there are only two of us. I hate this, I hate pining after someone - someone that means so much. It hurts, it aches in my chest and I can't curb it.

Jesus : Want to meet for a coffee?

It had been sent less than two minutes ago, I suppose he has the intuition that something has gone wrong. I nodded despite him not being able to see me through the phone screen. My shaking fingers began to dance across the keyboard, typing an answer as fast as I could - I didn't want to seem desperate but it wouldn't be a lie if it came across that way.

You : If you don't mind. I would kill for a coffee and mate right now.

You : Wanna meet at the nice breakfast shop? They do lunch too but I've never tried it.

The cafe was fifteen minutes from my house, near the crossroads where we normally meet to walk to school together. If I had spare change I would buy everyone a coffee before school - though I don't see that happening much anymore. 

Jesus :  Sure I can be there soon enough, save me a seat.

Never thought I'd be the one needing to be held up by someone, supported by anyone. I was everyone else's foundation. I'm supposed to be the strong reliable force, how has everyone flipped on its head? How have I ended up being the bottom of the food chain, the weak, needy friend? Why has it happened like this? 

My walk towards the small coffee shop was flooded with negative thoughts, things I should have said, things I could have done - but no one can go back in time. Everything that had happened, had already played out and I can't readjust anything when I have already lost someone. The dark oak door to the coffee shop was propped open with a sign welcoming everyone inside. The rustic appearance of the inside was comforting, I'm not sure I'd ever spent long enough in here to notice the details of the place. 

The dark counter tops, the sleek furniture, even the warmth the colours in the paintings added to the room. It screamed log fires and blankets to create this warm autumn/winter environment that you could cuddle up into and fall asleep. Due to the time, it was relatively quiet - I guess it is just before what would be lunch rush - allowing me to walk to the counter, order a black coffee with two sugars and head to a seat by the window. I watched idly as people walked by every so often, groups of friends off to the park together, couples, families. Yet here I was, alone. 

Alone and despite the warm atmosphere, emotionally I was freezing. Asahi rounded the corner and I watched as he went up to the counter and ordered his drink, the waitress probably telling him she'd bring it over once he'd found a seat. He looked in good spirits, comfortable in his long beige jacket, a comfortable sweater and a button-up shirt. He always seemed to dress like someone who would be in their mid-twenties, not seventeen. However, he suited the style that I could best describe as a fashionable grandad. It was classic and with his stoic appearance definitely made him look more mature.

He sat opposite me with a warm smile, not saying anything - leaving me to start the conversation. Putting the ball in my court. What could I say? I'm about to wipe the smile from his face, tell him we lost a friend because I'm so stupid! I just sat holding my coffee mug in a desperate attempt to warm my freezing fingers. "It didn't go well." It was the easiest way to summarise it, a bit of an understatement, but a summary nevertheless. He didn't lose his smile, simply sat and listened, like a mother would. Like Suga would. 

"I said some pretty harsh things, he accused me of starting the rumours. I... can't even remember half of the argument." I felt myself tearing up and I gripped my mug  tighter to focus my thoughts elsewhere. "I know I said some bullshit, but when he accused me... he looked at me with such disgust - how could he accuse me? I'd been there for him from day one, I never asked questions, I never pried any information so why would he choose me to accuse?" It still hurt, I hadn't had time to acknowledge it properly before but the accusation stung. It burnt over my being like a glowing hot poker. I didn't deserve that Suga. 

Asahi simply put his hands over mine, offering a reassuring smile before speaking. "It's ok Daich, you were both upset. I'm sure things were said without meaning from both sides." He really was acting how Sugawara would - it was comforting but it was also like watching an impersonator. He wasn't Suga, so why was he acting like him? "Plus, think about it, we should have told him, helped fight alongside him not charge ahead and leave him. We could have handled it better but we cannot change it now." The smile was beginning to fall - was he going to cry? 

What a sorry sight this is, two guy crying in the window of a coffee shop. "It's ok, things will be ok. So we are going to mine after we have had our drinks, I am forcing you to bake cookies with me and I am also forcing you to watch Disney films - ultimate comfort move." He avoided my eyes as if afraid of my reaction. "We all need to be vulnerable sometimes, so just drop your guard this evening ok?" I think my guard had gone, at this point I'm pretty sure there was nothing left holding me together other than a sheer sense of pride that I was clinging onto.