i for this sad day today even though i wanted to just stay in my bed and cry. the pain in my heart when i thought of jessica was unbearable.
maya: hey hon me and carlos are picking you up at 1:30 if that's ok
me: it's prefect thank you maya see you soon
maya: see you soon y/n
see i was always close with maya and carlos, jessica's parents. there are like my 2 family. i got off my bed and headed to the bathroom.
Flashback:
jessica: bro y/n remember when you shit yourself on our first sleepover
i started laughing and held my chest.
you: i didn't mean to i just saw that video and started laughing my ass off
we both started laughing at the thought of the fear in on my eyes that day. i jumped on the back of her back making us both fall on the floor.
jessica: i love you
you: i love you to
we just stayed there laughing on the floor.
Flashback ended
no me and jessica weren't in love it's called having a healthy friendship. ever heard of it.
as i thought of that day i smiled a bit then a tear went down my face. this day was gonna be hard and i know it. i turned the water on and got in letting the warm water hit my body.
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me: hey jessica it's been a while since i wrote to you and i'm sorry but it's just hurts knowing your gone forever. happy birthday my love i love you so much and my heart hurts still to this day. my one true best friend you'll never be replaced, i will always miss our laughs and talks, i will miss our hugs, sleepovers, going to our spot on our birthdays, just being able to see you and your beautiful smile. today i would need your advice about me and kairi, he wants to have the bond we had before i left to rehab and i know what you would say "he's your brother, have the bond you guys used to have cuz i know you miss it" but it's hard cuz he wasnt there like you were. anyways this isn't about him and i it's about you and how much i miss you. i hope your dancing in the sky with the smile that lit my day up. i love you jessica i'll see you soon babes -y/n
my phone was wet from the tears that went down as i was writing that. i imagined her texting me back with a smile. i didn't even try to put makeup on cuz i knew my tears would ruin it.
i checked the time and it showed 11:30pm. my mom had called me down for breakfast. i opened my bedroom door and walked downstairs looking down.
maiya: i miss her to sis she said wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tightly.
you: she's in a better place i tried holding my tears back which surprisingly worked.
maiya let go and we all sat down. it was quiet at the table when kairi broke it.
kairi: can the boys sleepover i rolled my eyes. my mom sighed.
mom: no kairi it's gonna be a hard- she knew how much it hurt today but i cut her off.
you: no it's fine i'm gonna sleepover at her house today so don't worry kairi it would be easier for your rude ass friends to stay! i shouted and got up from the table.
my mom called out for me but next thing you know i slammed the front door. as i was walking i let the cold wind hit my face but was cut off by me bumping into someone.
alvaro: sorry- y/n? kairi's friend. great. i backed up a little and waved.
you: hey i said softly but my voice cracked. FUCK YOU VOICE.
alvaro: are you ok? what's wrong? he played the part as if he cares. that's what they do act like they care then break you.
you: i don't need you acting like you care and i don't need nor want your pity i snapped and walked past him.
maya: y/n! hey sweetheart she said as she pulled me into a warm welcoming hug. i saw her dry tears.
you: hi mom maya always loved when i called her mom and my mom always loved when jessica call her mom.
carlos: where's my hug he acted as if he was offended. i laughed and hugged him to.
you: hey dad it was the same with me and jessica's dad.
carlos: so we are going to her grave first then eating a cake for her i nodded trying to hold my tears back.
maya: ok let's go carlos unlocked the car door and i got in.
the whole time we were talking about the memories about her. when tears would drop i would look out the window up to the sky.
maya: we are here love i saw her looking at me through the front. i slowly got out and we walked to her grave stone.
Jessica Martinez loving daughter, friend, and sister may 19th 2003- march 23 2018
yeah she had a brother but he was never closed with us and went to college. damian martinez is his name. i never cared for him honestly. he couldn't even fucking come for her damn birthday.
sun of a bitch.
he could burn in hell for all i care.
i say down putting my finger on her grave stone and smiled. just thinking about jessica killed me more that anything but thinking about her also put a smile.
