TW: Eating disorders, and a bunch of insecurities (not feeling enough etc.)
"Xingqiu..I like you." Chongyun muttered out as the two stood on the wooden bridge surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Chongyun clutched onto his hoodie, his head hung low. Xingqiu's eyes grew wide, staring at Chongyun, confused. "Haha- what? I don't like you, yun." Xingqiu bluntly said clear and quickly.
Chongyun's grip on his hoodie became tighter, embarrassment flushing over his face, tears brimming the corners of his eyes. The soft pink flowers fell slowly, time seeming to stop. The wind picked up, swirling pink blurs around the two.
"Hah, alright." Chongyun managed to say, his voice cracking. "I'll see you next time." The light blue haired male said, turning around to walk away. Though he never heard a voice call out to stop him. He kept going, tears streaming down his face, flushed a bright red out of embarrassment.
The two never saw each other again.
Chongyun went off to another group of friends, aether, childe and xiao. They all seemed to have a good time together, hanging out all the time, laughing, sharing memories, but Chongyun's heart hadn't healed, it sinking lower each day. Xingqiu had never reached out to him, so neither did he. Chongyun's mental health slowly declined, him neglecting meals and basic hygiene.
Nights past, Chongyun sat alone in his room, softly weeping. At these times he usually would be texting Xingqiu. Xingqiu..he missed him, but did he feel the same? Chongyun had become self conscious of himself, xingqiu didn't like him, why? Was he not attractive enough? Was he overweight? Maybe xingqiu liked others who were older. Or some with the opposite personality.
Soon chongyun lost himself, him changing himself more and more each day for xingqiu. He skipped several meals, eating only flavorless popsicles, he had dropped several pounds. This was perfect. He was perfect for Xingqiu. He had to be perfect, right?
Chongyun took a deep breath, standing on the same bridge he had felt rejection. The flowers were gone, only leaving behind dead trees, awaiting warm weather to grow once again. He called Xingqiu, his number at the bottom of the list of his contacts list. "Xingqiu? Come see me, won't you? Y'know, at the bridge?" He said quickly, hanging up before xingqiu had the time to reply. It had been months since they had last spoken.
Several minutes later xingqiu arrived. He looked wonderful. His hair flowing in the wind, his small figure, his beautiful golden amber eyes, everything about him was perfect.
"Chongyun?" Xingqiu now stood in front of Chongyun, concern in his eyes. "What- what happened to you?" Chongyun was thin, but, overly thin. He was different, really different. He stood tall, his face seemed off too, he seemed, intimidating?
"I changed for you, Xing." Chongyun said, desperation in his voice. "Do you like me now?" He asked confidently, but his eyes were filled with desperation. He no longer fiddled with his hands nor his hoodie, he stood before Xingqiu, tall and proud.
"Chongyun I- when was the last time you ate?" Xingqiu looked at his small fragile figure, his wrists unbelievably tiny. Chongyun laughed, though tears threatened to spill out. "Why does that matter xing? I'm different now, how could you not love me now?" He questioned, getting closer to xingqiu, causing the other to step back. "Xing, c'mon, I- I did so much for you." He continued to approach the other, until Xingqiu couldn't move back any further. "Chongyun, I don't like you. I'm sorry, but no matter how much you change, I won't love you." Harsh. Chongyun scoffed, tears coming down his face, before he began to yell. "I did so much for you! I changed for you." He raised his voice, Xingqiu flinching. And that's it, Chongyun was gone. That was no longer Chongyun. Xingqiu turned away quickly, leaving, resulting in a strong grip around his wrist. "You- you can't go!" Chongyun yelled, before seeing his own friends behind Xingqiu, deciphering the scene before their eyes. Chongyun let go, his head hung low, Xingqiu scurrying away.
"I swear It's not- It's not what it looks like." He said quickly, the desperation in his eyes growing more. "Oh? what is it then?" Childe asked, the other two staring him down, before they walked away. Chongyun stood alone, he changed, but he had no one left. He was alone.
hi i'm horrible at angst but here you go :)
