missing people is such a paradoxical idea in itself. the idea that this type of sadness in the pit of my chest and this longing is a result of such wild and happy feelings. it amazes me.
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it's almost eleven at night and i'm tired, but not enough to sleep. even if i was, if i had the option i'd choose to be tucked in your side, and i'd be laughing and i'd be so unbelievably aware of your existence next to me. so aware of how goddamn fast i'm falling for the little things you do.
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you said your eyes were like mud, but to me they're two mini earth's where i can see my life from a birds eye view. i'm looking and i'm seeing how happy i am. it's like an xray view and i can see my pulse race with every glance you take at my lips. i wanted to tell you that, but i was frozen in your sight and couldn't form the thoughts into words.
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your smile is everything. you know in movies and books they talk about that cliche warmth that comes with happiness? goddamn it is cliche but i know what it feels like. everytime you smile my heart skips the slightest bit and i am overwhelmed with the beauty of your life.
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i am overwhelmed with the idea of this little bit of the universe sitting next to me that is so beautiful. you are smiling and laughing and talking and breathing and i can feel and hear it all. you are mine and i am yours and i want to look at you for hours and drown in your existance because if i'm lucky enough to witness it i am going to take every bit of it in.
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but you see, you aren't sitting next to me and i cannot feel your breath and i cannot kiss you or hold your hand and i miss you.
