Atlantis // DNF

Between the pages

"So you are ready?"

"No. Not ready, not yet. But right now i'm fine with it. Right now i don't feel like i have to stop it. I already said too much, what is going to happen is going to happen, you know?"

"That is good. I think so?"

"I have no idea, i don't know what i'm doing Sapnap, but right now i don't think that much, i'm sleeping well and i'm waking up to smell of coffee. Yes i still want to wake up to his voice and his laugh but it's alright. I'm gonna learn to deal with it. Eventually."

"I'm sorry George. I'm really sorry. I hate to see you both like this, we've been friends for as long as i can remember and now i don't know what to do."

"It's alright. For now i'm going to let him choose. He's going to do what he wants to do, i'll follow."

My bags were packed by the door and my mom was making me one last tea at her place, i heard her packing some in a paper bag so i could take it with me.

"I don't think he knows what to do either George."

"Then we'll just figure it out as we go. We can always pretend."

"I'm sorry."

It was quiet. I wonder if Sapnap is ok. I wonder what he does after we end our calls.

"Thank you, Sap. I never say it, i know, i know we fight all the time and it seems like you are always closer to Dream than you are with me but i hope you know how much i care. How much i love you."

"Your mom really changed you, you've gone all cheesy and stuff." He was laughing and i let a laugh out too. It's been a second since i've laughed like that.

She really did change me, he was right. I don't know if i'm gonna go back to my apartment and it's all going to come back, but for now i'm alright.

"i love you too, George."

"Ok enough of that, i have to go home."

"You should trust your gut more, it does you good."

"I'll try. Thank you. Talk to you soon!"

"Drive safe!"

The tea tasted a little more bitter. The smiles were a little bit more sad. The conversations were a little more painful.

The music on the ride home was a lot more repetitive.

I opened my apartment door, it was dark and still felt just as empty. I made my way to the bedroom in complete darkness, dropping the bags on my bed. The first thing i did was open all the windows, letting fresh air in the quiet apartment.

It was late at night but with the lights on i made my way back to the kitchen. I put the tea in a tea box and cleaned the kitchen. I washed the old dishes and threw out the old food from fridge.

My living room was pretty much empty, i hadn't spent time in there since forever. I turned on the TV and put on some music that i knew very well i will get complains for in the morning.

I was quickly moving through the apartment and cleaning out all the places i could find. It still didn't feel like home, but that's what the day came for and as the closest furniture shops started opening i started the journey to making my apartment home.

Dreams POV

I could call him. I could just call and say something. I could let him say something first. I just want to hear him.

I wonder how he is doing. I wonder if he is alright. Is he thinking? Is he scared? Does he regret it?

I don't know why he still isn't replying my text messages, i know he is home. He didn't say much, i don't think he said that much. If it didn't mean anything though, why is he so scared? Why is he like this?

I was looking at the phone in my hand, too scared to press the call button. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

"Dream?"

"G-george?"

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Umm... you called?"

"Why aren't you replying to my messages?"

"I wasn't home, i was with my mom. And now i'm home but i'm actually pretty busy."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm buying things. I decided that this apartment doesn't feel like home because i haven't put in enough effort. So that's what i'm gonna do."

"That's good. That's good to hear."

"Yea."

I don't know if it's wrong that quietness doesn't feel uncomfortable. It still feel like before. It still feels comfortable. Is he comfortable too?

"I'm going to go for a walk. You want to come with me?"

We used to do that. We would take each other on walks and explain all the world from our side.

"Yes please."

"So, what have you been up to? How are you doing?"

"I've been thinking a lot. I'm talking with Sapnap. I think i understand what you mean when you say that he brings comfort."

"I know. So, i have a plan." He is escaping. He's trying to change the topic, i want to talk about it.

"Yea?"

"I'm gonna take you to a coffee shop, i want some tea and then we can go for a walk in the park maybe?"

"That sounds good. Wear something warm, it's cold outside."

"I know, i know."

And so we talked. We talked about world from George's side and from mine, we talked about internet world that we both have in common and we argued about coffee and tea while he was waiting for his drink. We talked about the kids in his park and how it was starting to snow.

"I'm really cold."

"Can you go inside somewhere to warm up?"

"Let me take a look. Umm.. a library."

"Perfect! You can go in and warm up, you could read something for me."

"Ok, i'll call you back when i'm inside, ok?"

"Ok."

It took him a few minutes but when i picked the phone back up the excitement was flowing through my speaker like mountain rivers in spring.

"Oh my god, Dream, this is amazing! It's so magical, it's a little old but it's gorgeous! I didn't know about places like this in Brighton!"

"Sounds really nice! Can you read something for me?"

"What do you want to hear?"

I don't know, maybe something like i love you would be pretty nice.

"Do they have sections? Can you find a philology one?"

"What? I'm not reading you philology."

"There should be one that i want. Please?"

"Ok, i see something. So what should i search for?"

"Something about Atlantis."